I just want to give up and take a long drink

I am writing this after receiving another rejection from a employer, I don't know what to do anymore I try to stay positive but I keep getting rejection after rejection. I feel I am not good enough, I have nothing to show no children, no partner and just existing in a rented flat which I can hardly afford with universal credit and I just keep getting into debt after debt. I have tried everything - interview practice, visiting the workplace before interview and asking for feedback which I share with my job coach. I try to stay positive, pray and try to be activite within the community. I just feel that I am on paying for my sins - I lost my last job through depression and by self medicating by drinking. Even the people who are suppose to be my friend only use me for things and I just don't have any luck. At the moment I just want to give up, have a large drink and never wake up as no one would miss me and I have no role in this world. My life is one big mess

18 Replies

  • Hi I am sorry you are going through all this.   Ok your life is a mess right now but it won't always be.  Sometimes the job market is very difficult to re-enter but it's not personal.  I have found in life if you persevere then something usually turns up.   Maybe you could try a different line of work or think of another way to gain access like voluntary work?   You can do this on benefits with no penalty. 

    Please don't give up.  x

  • Thank you I will keep trying

  • That's the spirit Queenie.  Been there done that and even got the bl.....y t shirt lol  xx

  • Thank you, I am trying a different line of work that isn't my usual profession  and I am doing voluntary work. I will keep trying

  • It's good you are doing voluntary work love as if nothing else it is keeping your cv up to date and providing you with another reference source.  x

  • Thank you I will work on the cv

  • Please don't give up, your job centre should offer a project called the Workchoice programme, it helps you get back into work, get a wage and with support from your Disability Advisor, just need to ask for the Disability Advisor at your job centre, I used them a while back, I am not disabled but they help people who need mental health support in work as I wasn't well with mental health, I could well do with this support as well at the moment and it can be in any sector of work - I don't know if it will help but worth a try good luck 

  • Good point AM  x

  • It's called the Shaw Trust and you need a referral from your job centre advisor

  • Thanks Angelmarrow I will speak to the job centre on my next appointment on Tuesday as my current work programme with Peopleplus is no help they don't know what to with me and if it wasn't for a recruiting manager advising me to get my travel expenses from them I won't have know. Today the advisor spent thirty mins with me on interviewing and then said that he has to rush as his manager wants to see him

  • No problem I hope you get in ok with it all I'm on here If I can be of anymore help please let me know, hopefully if they can do it they should get you referred within 24 hours

  • Thanks 

  • Hi There, I know getting a job can be very difficult especially with depression. I had depression for 2 years gave up my last job and only made £600 income in year and half and almost became penniless. Now I've got a job but back at square one from senior analyst to trainee and making my way up.

    You just need to stay positive and think that there is something out there for you, I know it is easier said than done.

    If you don't mind, Can I ask a few questions, What sort of work are you after?

    Do you have anyone in your previous workplace who knew of your situation and can help you with a reference when you get a new job?

    Can you list what sort of skills you have to offer to an employer?

    Are you on jobseekers allowance?

    Have you considered doing alternative training into something else that you always wanted to do?

    Have you gone to Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) and told them about your situation regarding health and finances and what benefits you can get and how you can go about maybe getting training into a new skill ?

    My first advice would be to first go to CAB, make an appointment for the above reason. secondly, make use of your time by volunteering, even if you don't like it please give it a thought. it will keep you busy, divert your energies into something useful than worrying and as a bonus it will look really good on your CV/application form and you can talk about it in your interviews. When I didn't have work or an income i did handyman work at a animal rescue centre for just over a year at once a week, it gave me a sense of belonging, made me feel i was wanted, learnt new skills and play with the animals there and I think doing that work helped me perk up, feel positive about myself and helped me realize a lot of things about myself and learning how to cope with feelings. My reason for doing this was I didn't like how people neglected and abandoned animals and I wanted to play a small part in helping the staff there look after them. you will be very surprised how volunteering can change your perspective on life and how it makes you a stronger person, just need to do a bit of soul searching whilst doing it.

  • Thank you for giving me hope - I am currently working with Christians against poverty to sort out my debts and help me budget for the future. I was working in HR administration and that is the type of work that I have been applying for but I have also done Youthwork and I am applying for support worker roles / care assistant. I have no one from my previous employer to give me a reference the people who I thought were good friends were only using me and my issue to gain promotion and now they are senior HR advisers they don't want nothing to do with me. I am currently voluteering at my church and I have send in a application form to work with young people again. I am currently studying criminology and I keep asking the job programme for work experience but their main concern is that they don't have enough staff

  • If you feel you have tried all options close to home,  then you might want to try looking a bit further afield. This is when only having a rented flat becomes a positive, not a negative. It is so much easier to leave then if you need to sell a place.

    A new employer might be willing to help with moving costs (well they used to in my day), and you could get a new start away from these non-friends of yours.

    This might sound scary, but it is often exciting, stimulating and a chance to expand your horizons. If it did not work out you would not be worse off than now, as long as you move somewhere you like.

  • Thanks I have looked far afield, somewhere I could commute easy to , I can't leave here as I too close to my family

  • Queenie,it sounds a mess but you will beat it. It is important that you explain to those who interview you that you are having trouble finding another job ,and that while you accept their decision could they help by explaining without pulling any punches why you were rejected. If you'll lucky one or two will be honest enough to tell you and you will be able to work on that.

    You are not paying for your sins. The depression was not your fault, and drinking might have seemed the answer. You now seem well aware that it was n't and never will be. You are quite right to make a job your first priority.

    Clearing your debts and a partner will follow. Meanwhile make the most of your unwanted freedom by finding out more about depression in case it strikes again, getting fitter, and even perhaps doing a course on something. These things can be your "job" until the real thing comes along.

    Forget about the drink and not waking up. Sometimes the most unlikely people have had an important role to play in life eventually.

     You don't write like a loser, and you are going to be a winner. I am sure you would be missed and would be missed even more when you're a winner again. Don't take that chance away from yourself.


  • Thank you Olderal that means so much to me it brought tears to my eyes. You have given me some positivity so thank you again

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