I'm having a hard time determining whether I'm in an objectively bad situation or whether my expectations are too high.
I posted in the past regarding my husband who I married 10 months after first meeting because of a pregnancy. He's in law enforcement so he's not the most sensitive man in the world and he has trouble admitting fault or weakness. He also can't really "relax" or let his guard down or be vulnerable around me. He's amazing - up to a point until his frustration kicks in - with our toddler son and I've told him I wish he could be as loving toward me as he is to our son. He was 36 when we met and I've been the longest relationship he had ever had. That is, he had never had a serious relationship until me, I think because he is emotionally incapable.
As a woman who has had lifelong struggles with anxiety and depression, I haven't always been in the right "frame of mind" when choosing romantic partners. Therefore, I tended to date undesirable men when my self esteem took hits from my mental health issues. This, combined with natural ability to form connections with really anyone, has led to prolonged relationships with people I shall term "losers."
My husband is gainfully employed, a big help with domestic tasks around the house, and spends tons of time with the kid. On paper, he is not a "loser." He also tries to meet my emotional needs, but his general monotone indicates to me anything he says is just obligatory and "going through the motions" with no real care or concern for my feelings or well being.
We also don't have much in common. I enjoy getting tipsy and silly on occasion, and he hates drinking (I think because his guard could - gasp! - come down). I thrive on interacting with people, and he'd be perfectly thrilled with living in the woods with not a soul around him. He's not only an introvert, but a little socially awkward (I think) around people. I am the polar opposite and I feel like he's dragging me down.
I don't want to give up just yet because of the baby. I also know my tendency is to think the "grass in greener." However, I am also painfully aware of my tendency to put up with a lot of crap for way too long. So I don't know which is happening, maybe a bit of both?
Any advice is greatly appreciated! Hugs to you all. Thank you for reading.