Hello All
First of all I hope you are all doing as well as can be expected under these conditions.
Right im on a load of meds from Oxycodone to warfarin and various in-between around 14 monthly and the odd 1-3 meds at intervals as they run out such as my Coro nitrate spray for my angina. As for my anxiety and mood I have been on various over the tears and until around just over a year ago I was on 45mg Mirtazapine but id built up a resistance to this. So both my psychiatrist and Psychological COG councillor said I needed more, So after them both and my doc got together I am now on 30mg Mirtazapine and 50mg Sertraline which has seamed to help. That was until all this lot with Corvid-19 started..
You see as long as iv had my mental issues the main one is of me being trapped and the air running out such as in a cave or just trapped in a confined space like a lift or such as even waking up inside a buried coffin and all the things along those lines it was so awful i hardly slept for years . So much so that Iv always told the doctors or any professional person iv seen that I know how im going to pass and its always been with me gasping for breath or unable to breath. Now like Iv said the concoction of meds had helped a little over the last year with that and even though I now managed to drop of sometimes it was now however on the sofa downstairs. This being due to me talking, screaming, laughing to even having full blown conversations whilst starting to or actually getting to sleep. Along with the vocal aspects there is also the physical side of which jerking punching and kicking takes place. Im worse on my back but our sofa is comfy which is ok..
However now the covid-19 is hear im back to non stop being able to relax or sleep that is till im so exhausted i just drop off Iv seen what it does to you and how you end up and its just brought all my fears to a head with how iv told the people I see about how I feel im going to pass and its everything this virus does. And then with the New York governor saying on tv the other night that in not so many words he was not going to sugar coat it and that if you went on a ventilator then your chances of coming off diminished more by the day you spent on so was doing everything they could to keep from putting you on one. So to me this almost read as though going on a ventilator was as much a (well you know what I mean without saying it dont you). So with every ache, pain, headache, sniffle or cough I panic like hell its awful at this time in life w
Yes I may as well have to stay in but my wife has to shop. My daughter who has a birthday shortly has not seen her boyfriend of 5 years since the start of all this as he is worried for me. At least she is working from home. Also she is on her last weeks of her notice but has not heard anything from her new employer as of yet so she is worrying about that. which is also adding to my worrying.
So all in all im in a right state at the moment and cannot get to see anyone that matters at all. Iv just got the feeling that I will get to see someone but at a time which will be to late.
Regards Osh .