I just went from heartbreak to rage and now at the edge

[Cat_cat44]

I’m still getting over a very traumatic relationship, call my so called friend for support and what does she do? Talk over me adding her opinion like her $### don’t stink in her own relationship, when all I wanted was support!! I hung up on her and I texted her im tired of her treating me like that!! Its nothing worst then being at the gutter then someone still kicking you!! The only reason she got a big ego because her estranged husband and boyfriend right now almost fought over her. And I bet she thinks I’m jealous of him but listen im far from it. Her boyfriend is a dealer. Right there is a deal breaker. And he verbally abuses her too. I just decided I had enough of mine but she still decides to be with hers. Thats her prerogative but don’t think your better than me because you chose to stay with your abuser.

[sweetiepye]

If you ask a question you probably should give the other person a chance to answer. It seems like you are angry because you didn't get the answer you wanted. If you don't value her as a friend you should probably find someone more supportive Pam

[Cat_cat44 in reply to sweetiepye]

I wasn’t asking her a question though i just wanted her to listen. Instead she devalued me and put me down. I refuse to be friends with someone who already know you’re down then kick you more. I would never do that to a friend. Im not perfect but I listen and i don’t judge because im always being judged.

[Hidden]

The problem is you ask for help and some people are unable to relate to your problems, so they explain their own concerns. Sometimes you may feel, when a friend relates to your relationship and that seems to be lacking. Your friend is giving you a point of view.

It is very hard putting yourself into others shoes.

You phoned, She was unable to relate, Put it down to experience, you asked ?. Your friend in some way lost the plot. Confide only in people who will understand your needs.

You should have allowed your friend time to get to the point. Life is full of good intentions, I do not feel your Friend was being self centred. just you cut out before She got around to answering your Needs

BOB

[Cat_cat44 in reply to Hidden]

I wasn’t asking her a question I just wanted her to listen. I’m becoming very fustrated because no one seems to understand when someone justs needs a friend to listen as opposed to offering an opinion. There are many different ways to be a friend. And this isn’t the first time.

[Hidden in reply to Cat_cat44]

I am sorry for you you wanted a listener you, sad to say You got a person who give an opinion. The listening may have come later. One problem some people are not good listeners. I have basically given up in some situations with those who give opinions

Listening is an art and we need to understand, however, sometimes if you listen to opinions you will eventually find the conversation may taper of then if lucky you may be able to have your say. and understand what the opinions may give you a round about answer. Then the sympathy you expect.

We are here to listen and give support, I personally never judge. Sometimes I expect the same, a Listener, They are as rare as Hens Teeth

BOB

[sliverofsilver]

Hi, I’m silver.

It sounds like you’re going through a hard time right now, and I understand how your friend adding her opinion on when you wanted comfort instead made you quite frustrated.

Perhaps your friend didn’t know what kind of support you wanted and thought you might like to relate to her and ‘be in it together’. Have you tried explaining specifically that sometimes you want comfort and support, like a big fluffy verbal hug?

You say you’ve texted her that you don’t want her to treat you like that any longer- well, fair enough. But how would you feel about adding onto that and saying how you would like her to support you, in what way? Help her to help you.

Best wishes,

-sliverofsilver

[Cat_cat44 in reply to sliverofsilver]

Hi sliverofsilver, thank you, finally someone who understands I just wanted her to listen. We’ve been friends for 24 years, she knows me well enough and she knew exactly what I needed because I ALWAYS tell her. But as I said, right now her ego is super big right now (i read people super well including her) so she’s in her self-righteous, judgemental stage right now. Trust me she knew what she was doing and she’s been exibiting less quality friendship lately. I’m not perfect either but she can’t say i’ve ever treated her like this. Its more to the story, its too long but I wish people knew what I know.

[sliverofsilver in reply to Cat_cat44]

You’re welcome

If you’ve been friends for 24 entire years, she must have at least used to be a quality friend, so if she’s being a not-so-great friend as of now, then sometimes it’s not something you can help. Perhaps it’s time to part ways, perhaps it will pass and your friendship will make it through. But give it a chance before going through a dramatic movie cliché separation 🙃

Is there another friend or relative you feel would listen to you and help meet your needs for someone to just listen? I’m not saying to cut the friend in question off entirely, but just to broaden your options.

Also, if you ever want me to listen, you can PM me anytime and I’ll be here.

Good luck,

-sliverofsilver