I'm new here. I'm not even sure I should be doing this here, but I'm running out of ideas and don't know what else to do. I have concerns about my teenager
She's 16, just started her A levels, and has her whole life before her. However, these last few years have been hell on earth. She has such extreme mood wings that I am really concerned. One day she's fine. Next, she's arguing over everything, throwing things around. After a few days of this behaviour, it's like nothing even happened. You try to speak to her about her behaviour at this time, she thinks you're making it up.
She started bunking off school when she was about 15, and didn't do as well as she could have done a her GCSEs. The times she bunked off, she would lie all the time. Even when faced with evidence, she would lie to our faces and get so angry, like it was our fault. Then, again, she would calm down and be unable to see the problem or 'own' her behaviour.
I worry about her all the time. I do shift work, and worry about the arguments her and her dad have while I'm not there. We have two younger children as well and, sometimes, it's impossible for one person to be what she needs at that moment (be that shoulder to cry on, emotional punchbag, moving target) and deal with the little ones needs. On a late shifts, I'll regularly check my phone to find numerous missed calls (I can't answer the phone while on shift, so have to wait until my break). She runs out of the house at all hours, refusing to come home, telling us that this is our punishment for treating her in some way that she won't explain at the time, and can't remember afterards.
She has started seeing a counselor at her college, and it is helping. But I still have concerns (I'm her mum, it comes with the job!) I worry that I don't know what she needs. I worry that I let things get so bad.
Any advice on what I do would be greatly appreciated. Is there anything that I should avoid doing? Anything that will help, or might be worth trying?