Depression

[Moody_bxtch]

I'm making my first post. How lovely. Today I felt horrible. I didn't want to socialize or go to school, I just wanted to stay in bed all day. The thought of going to school made my eyes tear up and my hands shake. I couldn't help the anxiety I felt and I needed a break. One day off. Just one day off. But my mom didn't let me. Instead she told me to suck it up and be a big girl. I went and eventually ended in the girls restroom crying. When it was time for breakfast (nutrition we call it at my school) I stayed in. I didn't really wanna talk to anyone but my boyfriend was there....with his/my best friend. They were laughing telling jokes and seeing him laughing made me happy for him. I feel like I'm a burden. I'm always worrying him with my normal thoughts. At this point I just tell him an edited version of my day. Anyway back to today....it made me feel like crap. I feel like I cause him pain and was just drowning in self-hate and no one noticed. I was writing in ny notebook while they continued to sit and laugh while I emotinally was frowning in hate. Who would? I feel horrible and like a burden. I hate my body, face, and personality. I'm a two faced person. I smile at school but once I'm not around a lot of people I just wanna break down crying. Whatever. That's a lot for my first post right? If this disgusts you, bye. I disgust myself to so your not the only one.

[Hidden]

I know where you are coming from. My years in school were the worst. I was always on my own and known as a loner. I never socialized much, not even to the teachers. I never felt school has or will do me any good. Each time there it just made me feel worse off. Things began to worsen and I began to fade away from involvements in class. I also began to get very aggravated because I never felt right being there. I became more defensive towards others, especially the teachers. Refusing to do what was needed to be done in class. I knew things were not normal on my part and felt it best to keep away from others and continue to learn the way which fit me best. My ways many times were nonnegotiable, but were beneficial on my part.

Remember you are strong and you can do anything. Even if it is in your own way. We each are unique and different. Follow your heart and it will take you in the right direction you need to go. 😊

[Moody_bxtch in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much- it feels good that someone has gone through the same experience. I don't really have people who relate to me so its relieving to know I'm not the only one...!

[Hidden in reply to Moody_bxtch]

We are not the only ones who have gone through what we have been through. There are plenty more out there. You are never alone when going through such experience. You have made it this far. You are such a strong person. Remember that. 😊