Stuck

[waitingfortoday]

I just need someone to talk to. I don't like talking to people because I don't want to burden them with my emotions. That means I'm always pretending to be happy so they don't ask me what's wrong and get me to tell the. It also means I feel so lonely even though I'm surrounded by people who care about me. It's just a cycle of me slipping deeper into depression and it getting harder and harder to hide until I eventually break and have a massive episode. Then I feel ridiculous and it adds to the fire of self hatred. Now I sound so whiney which I hate. Sorry

[Krasykat]

Hopefully this makes you feel less lonely, I hope your doing ok tonight 😊x

[waitingfortoday in reply to Krasykat]

Thank you

[Markcann]

I know something of where you are I can't know exactly as I'm not you but I know how it feels to wish you could tell someone exactly how you feel but you can't I know how it feels to be in a room full of people but feel completely alone that what depression does it isolates you feel free to talk I'm not saying I have any answers but if it helps i will listen sometimes all that's needed is for us to speak it out in order for us to make sense of it all plus you won't be burdening me so that's one less thing you have to worry àbout

[waitingfortoday in reply to Markcann]

Thank you so much ^-^ can I message you if I want to talk?

[Markcann in reply to waitingfortoday]

Yes by all means

[waitingfortoday in reply to Markcann]

Thank you ^-^

[chrisb63]

I understand that waitingfortoday. How do you actually know that you will burden people by telling them your emotions.? Some close friends may resent that you did not tell them because then they would be able to help you if you did. I'd begin with my closest friend and go from there.

Many including me find that it is easier to tell someone your feelings and your emotions if you do not know them at all, rather than someone you do.

So you are surrounded by people who care about you, so why don't you find out just how much they care after asking them to help you and listen.

That's how you find out who your genuine friends are and those are few and far between.

I wish you well, but never apologize for explaining what it is to be human and your emotional needs.

[waitingfortoday in reply to chrisb63]

This is very encouraging ^-^ thank you. I will try and find the courage to talk to someone ^-^. You have reminded me that a lot of the time people just want to help

[Aitch56]

you do not sound whiny. I pretend I am happy too. It is a coping mechanism. I paint on my smile to go out so the people I see do not see how wretched I feel. Bottling it up isn't the way to go, as you have found out as eventually you explode. I am great with dishing out advise but find it hard to do it myself. Without knowing your situation giving you sound advise is hard. But I do a voluntary job once a week and it really lifts my mood. I always feel like I don't want to go and have to force myself to leave the house. Once I have come back I feel like I have achieved something good. Little steps work wonders.

[waitingfortoday in reply to Aitch56]

I find this very useful too. To keep myself busy and surrounded by people so that I don't have to keep thinking about feeling awful

[mt_zy]

I really feel for you. I'm often pretend to be happy just like you because I don't want people to worry or get sick of constantly listening to my problems when they have enough of their own. I usually wait until I completely break down before opening up to people. But it's important for us to realise that sometimes we overthink things, and that those people actually want to listen to us, and don't just say that to be nice. We matter to people just as much as they matter to us. And it feels so much better to be able to confide in people, even if it's just a little, rather than bottling everything up. I'm sure you can find people that you can talk to freely about your emotions.

Wishing you luck!

[waitingfortoday in reply to mt_zy]

Thank you ^-^ I know this is true but it helps to hear it from someone else. It's also good to know I'm not the only one