Depression.

[MissLeslie]

Hi I'm Leslie and I'm 18. Since I was in elementary school through highschool I was teased because of my weight. I wasn't enormous but I was definitely on the chubby side. I graduated highschool this year and decided I was going to lose the pounds in the summer. I lost 50 pounds from dieting and excersing and I felt great.. I started working at this retail store part time and I thought everyone was cool but the bullying started again not because of my weight but because of the race of my boyfriend hes Caucasian and I'm African American.. We've been dating for about two years but when a few of my coworkers seen him (they're black) they hated it. They say things like "you're a disgrace" "do you hate yourself that much you must wish you was white" this goes on everyday. I would think men in their 40s would be more mature. It wouldn't hurt so much if it wasn't so consistent. I feel like I'm living my school bullying days again.. Any advice?

[Photogeek]

Hi Leslie you are very young so I want to explain what bullying In

The workplace is.

Repeated inappropriate behaviour, direct or indirect, whether verbal, physical or otherwise, conducted by one or more persons against another or others, at the place of work and/or in the course of employment, which could reasonably be regarded as undermining the individual‘s right to dignity at work."

An isolated incident of the behaviour described in this definition may be an affront to dignity at work but as a once off incident is not considered to be bullying.

So if your colleagues are being nasty to you it may be horrible but

Might not constitute bullying. There are a few criteria that define bullying, so

Check thus out online.

If you feel you are being bullied then your employer has a responsibility to

Ensure that your workplace is free from bullying. I would talk to your

Supervisor or boss.

As you are in the U.S. There will be lots of Webpages which give you details

All about Bullying and what your rights are. This will help you lots as your

Problem is more a work problem than a Depression problem.

So my advice Is , Remember you have rights, take your courage in your hands and

Talk to your boss. By the way how do your colleagues know the ethnicity

Of your boyfriend ? Does he work in the same place.?

Good luck.

Talk to your parents too.

Hannah

[MissLeslie in reply to Photogeek]

Ok sorry I guess I misinterpreted the word. He recently started driving and picks me up from work and sometimes drops lunch off for me. So my coworkers see him often

[Hidden]

Hi sorry Hannah I disagree with you for once. This is definitely harassment and bullying if it causes offence and the victim feels intimated which ML obviously does.

My advice to you is to start keeping a diary of these unkind remarks - the date, the time, what was said and by whom, and most importantly how it made you feel. Do this for a couple of weeks then take this to your immediate boss and tell them about it.

If it is in the form of teasing it might be best to rehearse some sharp retorts such as 'You have got a problem with this?' 'Does it matter these days?' Or if you can have a go back at these workers as they say attack is the best form of defence. I appreciate this might be difficult for you though. Do you have any friends amongst the nicer ones you could explain how it is upsetting you and ask for their advice or back up when the remarks start?. Let us know how you get on please. Bev x

[Phoenix2173]

Other people have no right to tell you who you can date or not if they cannot accept your choices then they should keep their thoughts to themselves. Racism goes both ways people should not be judged by the colour of their skin but for the person that they are. It sounds to me as if they are jealous of the boy you are dating, you should feel sorry for them and not allow them to hurt you. And yes bullying is dependent on the person who receives it what may be seen as bullying by one person may be seen as banter by another. You must tell your bosses of this as these actions are breaking race relation laws.

Russell

[MissLeslie]

I spoke to my manager numerous times. He laughs it off and tries to ensure me that these guys are just "kidding". Where I work its a favoritism and the guys who have been insulting me are the top sales people. I feel like my manager doesn't want to do any disciplinary actions because these guys are the main guys making the money in the store. I'm just the office girl, I can easily be replaced. I do have coworkers I consider myself close with, I've spoke to them about it as well they told me to ignore them. There is only 3 office girls out of 12 salesmen.. Each female works a different shift. So I work alone with all the guys. Sometimes I feel outnumbered which I definitely am. Guys like to take up for each other. Even if I do try to defend myself I'll still be knocked down.

[Phoenix2173]

Your manager has a duty of care to ensure that you are not treated badly at work. Mostly this is because it can come back and bite them on the ass if it persists and they do nothing to stop it. If you have a union rep or anyone like that such as a HR department go to them and tell them everything that you are experiencing don't hold back as leaving things out will only go against you. Don't think youre alone as your not.

Russell