So I know that I'm another kid in a list of people asking for help, begging for advice... but I feel like I have nowhere else to turn...
I fell in love with someone a while ago, and I fell HARD. But the thing is that I feel like they're losing interest in me. They live in another state, but we used to talk daily and I'd never felt so strongly about any of my partners before.
But lately I find myself riding this horrible roller-coaster, one where I'm waiting for them to text or call me, finding myself in a dark place when they don't, and then when they finally call or text me, I'm on a high I can't get with anyone else. The cycle repeats itself: we joke around and talk, they say I love you and I say it back, reassuring myself that everything will be fine, and then the next day I'm swallowing the lump in my throat because they haven't replied or called me.
I hate this, but I'm too afraid to speak up because I'm afraid that they don't love me enough to care or I'll scare them off because they might not have thought that this relationship would have gotten so serious for me. Because I know they have a life of their own outside of me, and I don't want to seem clingy or needy.
They're still living in their parents' homes, they have schoolwork, and I know they're getting their phone taken away often as of late, which can add to why they might not be calling me. So I know that I'm putting a lot of weight on them just by relying on them to brighten my day, but I can't help it. I really love them...
So... that's my vent. I don't know what I expect from posting this on here, but I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. If you read this and care enough to give any advice, please tell me.
I don't know how to stop this vicious cycle, I feel in pain all the time and I don't even know how I'd be able to get through life without them.
They made me feel like I had a future with them, a future where I would be happy. They always were the optimist out of the two of us, and without them everything seems so dreary and bleak.
I know I sound really desperate and edgy, but I really have no idea what to do...
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Update: I was right, they did lose interest. They broke up with me a few days ago. I was a whole mess the first two days afterwards, and my old habit of hurting myself kicked in again. It was the worst pain I'd honestly been in, I felt like I had nothing to look forward to in the future. But now I'm feeling better? It's strange, I would have thought that I would be sadder for longer. I miss talking to them, and I wish I'd said more to them about how I felt, but I'm afraid to contact them even if they said we could still be friends. It would feel weird and nostalgic talking to them so casually, when I'd thought we would have a future as something more.
Thank you for the wonderful advice that you've given me, and even if it doesn't do me too much good now I was thinking about what you all had said and it did help me get over this break-up. But do you have any thoughts about what I should do? I feel like I would like to keep in touch with them, but they haven't contacted me and I want to give them time and space so I'm not pushing them.