Lock me up in a mental institution and throw away the key

[Ploramicas]

I think that ive lost my marbles. I dont have a normal reaction to arguments with my partner. First I will cry then that turns into anger. I throw things, I scream very loudly, I push him. I throw things at him. I cry more. Today I got myself into such a state that my legs were shaking and I couldnt get them to stop. That went on for half an hour and then I took a valium which calmed me down but the tears wouldnt stop. 5 hours later and they are still rolling down my cheeks. I threw a glass of chocolate milk all over his computer and him. I think that I must be crazy, its no way for a 28 year old to behave.

My doctor wants me on medication but my partner is against it and I tell him but look at me, i cant control my emotions.

All it takes is something little to set me off then my emotions are all over the place. This raging lunatic comes out of me like its been festering.

[Stilltrying_]

From your previous posts I notice that you are under a lot of stress and have had some painful experiences in the past. Medication may help calm you a little but really maybe you need to working on trying to improve your situation as much as you can within the current limits. It sounds incredibly stressful to me, but maybe when you have found work again this could ease the situation as you would be out of the house more and also there would be more money coming in to eventually get that place of your own.

How are the meds going? I notice you started them a few days ago. They will take between two to three weeks to take effect if they are anti depressants and within those first two to three weeks you may feel slightly worse (if that is possible) than you did before , so this could be what is happening to you at the moment.

[hypercat54]

Hi I would listen to your doctor about meds and not your partner. You don't have to tell them you are on meds if you don't want to. x

[MsTree]

My daughter. You just described her to a T. And, I have been thinking she's lost her mind. But she hasn't. It's rage out of control. I had it, too, only not against another person. I took it out on the dishes. I knew I had to gain some self-control over my rage. And, I did. Everybody is different and I don't know what causes your rage. But you do. My daughter had to leave her husband of 25 years or one of them was going To be dead. Most likely she would have been the perpetrator.

[lin62-65ze]

Well having read what you have posted I think you should go on medication ASAP why your partner is against it I do not know. Maybe he thinks you will turn into a zombie! This is not the way to carry on, it's bad for both of you, do you have a job? Is this happening every day? By posting this you are worried and you a e sought a medical opinion, please go back to your GP. One other thing, are you in a controlling relationship? You cannot allow someone from preventing you taking medication, what if you scalded him when throwing coffee? Please go back to your GP and get help, let me know how you get on xx

[Ploramicas]

I havent gone on the medication for 3 reasons, 1) i smoke marihuana daily and im not sure if the mix would be too sedating 2) my grandma has been on depression medication all her life and she is completely nuts 3) what if the pills make me so over things that i lose determination to find a job?

Im having a fucking hard day.

Ive had the house to myself for a week cos the parents in law were on a cruise, now im back to hiding in my room, its pretty much room, zumba, room. Ive been crying already today, im so fed up of crying, it makes me feel pathetic but i guess its my way of getting emotion out. Exercise was supposed to help with that but it just doesnt. I feel like whats the point living its just suffering