Marriage crisis due to mental health issue. Who's with me?

[lilymenna]

We are both broken people, found each other, trust each other, got each other's backs, that's how we decided to marry one another. My husband's mental health issue is probably more complicated than mine, so I have to be the strong and positive one here, most of the time. Marriage makes our life harder. We're currently struggling living everyday. We love each other, but some days are hard to love. Some days are easy to tolerate, but some days are hard to understand. Anxiety and Depression are the true villain in our relationship. It destroys trust, it diminishes the safe feeling, it brings chaos into our life. Some days we fight from morning till the next morning, some days we are super affectionate and loving towards each other. Some days are easy, some days are super tough. My anxiety worsens but better after meeting him. Some days feel like my mental health issue is getting worsen, some days feel like it's healing. But to him, marriage makes his world darken and more hopeless. I made his mental health issue worsens. It's honestly very tough. He is the most loving, caring, affectionate, protective person I've ever met in my life, but some days he's scaring me. It's so tough.

[DerrykBrooks]

Hey lilymenna. I think that it’s wonderful that the two of you love each other and decided to be there for one another. If you would not have said that marriage makes your lives harder and brings chaos, and that some days are super tough I would have. It’s going to naturally be almost impossible for two “broken people” being married to make it through life because if one is not consistent in being well enough for themselves they cannot be well enough for the other.

I would never suggest divorce because that’s not my place. The two of you would most likely be best friends with and for each other if the marriage part was not there.

Think about this...

If you had a broken leg it would constantly need to depend on your other leg to fully recover the best that it could, if both legs were broken they’d each be struggling.

We can love without marriage.

I wish you the best.

[marsdream]

Lilymenna, relationships can be difficult. Depression and anxiety are conditions that need a doctor's assistance. Is your husband willing to go to counseling with you? Or are you will to get help and go by yourself. You don't need to blame yourself for making his condition worse, both of you have stress with the various conditions that you both have. Maybe see if you can get him into counseling or at least to speak with a pastor or his mental health doctor.

[Hidden]

How long have you been married, we have been married now for over forty years and life is just how you present it above. We have good days, bad days and that now seems quite normal. We read each others mind and know when either of us are upset, life is comfortable. Some may say how boring, is it, I disagree we know our likes and dislikes.

Why would we want to move on As we get older life can become more genteel and comfortable. Most older relationships and marriages change and that can be normal, enjoy

BOB

[lilymenna in reply to Hidden]

Just married 3 months ago, but sometimes I feel so tired Mentally and physically battling everyday makes us feel this marriage is so tough. Our marriage is still tooooooo young, but we've been talking about divorce. I know both have to work together but idk maybe we're just lack of experience because this is too early.

We have different personalities, bit similar principles in life. Lots of similarities but also differences, but can tolerate with each other. I think that is why we can get along together no matter how hard it is.

I also have been asking several married couples for marriage advices, they all mentioned same thing as yours mentioned above. They're gonna be good days and happy days, just be patient with each other, be kind towards each other in any conditions.

I love him the way he is. And I'm sure he does too. Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it 💞

[Hidden]

How long have you been in the relationship before marriage, We moved in together at si months. In a way I had burnt my boat and it was the best time to move on. We married after about two years and by that time the relationship had started to settle down as we began to understand each others needs and expectations I was about thirty one years old so I was calmer that what I had been in my teens and twenties.

Three months is no time at all , give yourselves time, it is difficult to become one in a new relationship. Even after many years marriage we are all still learning about each other, it is all part of the contract you signed when you both got married. How old are you both ?

BOB