Maybe dreams can come true..

[ZenGiraffe]

My last hope in getting better is going to come true! I’ve been accepted into the clinical trial, and I’m going to have my first brain surgery in about 3 weeks! This means if it works, I might be able to stop ECT treatments finally, and I could potentially FINALLY get my life back from this depression and anxiety. I was hoping that by sharing something positive, maybe we could make this a positivity post? Anyone care to share something they’re grateful for today? Hope everyone is hanging in there.

[hypercat54]

Brain surgery? What type of brain surgery? Do you have brain damage? x

[ZenGiraffe in reply to hypercat54]

No brain damage, just unrelenting treatment resistant depression. The surgery is called deep brain stimulation, they use it for movement disorders like Tourette’s. But they’re finally experimenting in different parts of the brain and focusing on trying to treat depression and other disorders like OCD. Not FDA approved yet though.

[Zoea in reply to ZenGiraffe]

I'm glad you've found hope. I am a little reticent on the current state of brain surgery but really I'm no expert on this. I hope you find what you need at the end of this particular road

by the sounds of it you've tried basically every other option for low moods, is that right?

[ZenGiraffe in reply to Zoea]

I’ve been dealing w depression for about 10 years, w the last 8 it’s been so bad I can’t work anymore or go to school. I’ve tried around 40 different meds, some of them multiple times. I’ve tried EMDR, CBT, and DBT, therapies also at least twice for each. Also IV Ketamine treatments and those didn’t work. And for the last 6 years I’ve been having ECT treatments (shock therapy like in one flew over the cuckoo’s nest)(today was my 90th treatment, I just woke up from my post-treatment nap) the ECT has ruined my memory, I flunked out of a few college courses cuz I couldn’t remember what I was learning despite taking vigorous notes (I was an A student in hs). I’m essentially living everyday at home, waiting for my husband to come home from work every day. I have no friends, I can’t learn new hobbies because I forget how to do them every 3 weeks after an ECT treatment (like knitting). And I can’t really commit to long term plans because I never know how bad my mood is going to be. This truly is my last hope. Also, since it’s research, by doing it it’s going to help figure out what other options there could be for depression and potentially bipolar (1 I think) disorder, and to me that gives my life some kind of meaning that I’ve been looking for. If it works, I’ll get some of my memory back by being able to stop ECT, and I plan to try college again and pursue my dream of being some kind of lab tech... sorry for the long winded response, I just like to review all the things I’ve tried, cuz sometimes I forget even all of those..

[Strongheartforever]

Congratulations! So glad this opportunity and hope have arrived for you. And sharing it here is a beautiful thing for all of us to see. A positivity post, I love that! My gratitude today is for the abundance all around, the buckets of cucumbers picked in a field, the trays of sprouts and shoots and seeds planted which will pop up in a few days and bring vitality and good health to people far and near and their families. I hope others will follow suit and continue this positivity post with MORE gratitude for all the abundance that is showered on us in this crazy beautiful life we all share. Sending you blessings and strength for your new journey...