every day. its in my head. theres so much. it makes everything unbearable. like a presence hanging in the back of my head all the time. I cant talk to people right. I cant put most of my bullet thoughts into words. everything is extremely fast and confusing inside my mind. its self-doubt, impulsivity, self hatred, anxiety, depression, mania, emptiness and everything else. when I talk to people when its in my head, I dont make sense and I usually ramble and give up. it's like im standing on a carpet and I keep pulling it out from under myself. im not having fun. and then tomorrow ill deny it was ever there. it will be fine for a while. until I make a bad decision and the overwhelming sense of dread and regret kicks in and makes things hell. I cant talk to people about this. I mess up too much. I mess everything up. please somebody fix me I cant keep doing this. im probably leaving a lot out.im sorry. im not good at this.
Hi Spacebode, I felt the need to reach out to u cos u sound like me. I totally relate to what u are going through.
It will be hard and u will have to summon all yr strength, but u have to see a doc. Hopefully that will get the ball rolling ..... it's what i did and although i am depressed and anxious still, it has helped me get through. I was suicidal a month ago and now I can feel some motivation returning- i even go out once or twice a week..... I hate meeting and talking to people too but doc gave me something called propranolol which really helps with the nerves and anxiety.
U should have a doctor...where n when did u last see one ? Call that one and ask to make an appointment then show or explain to doc everything u have posted here. Or make a list with all yr questions and ailments. Don't be offended but u have to try help urself. Dig deep my friend. Best wishes
Peace
Shadow
I am sorry that you are suffering so much and that you are struggling with so much mentally. I too get very depressed at times and also can feel anxious at times as well due to trauma I have experienced. I can relate to the intrusive thoughts aswell. I can relate to you wanting someone to fix you and the desperation of wanting your problems and the pain to go away very much so. I am here for you if you ever need to talk
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A difficult day **TRIGGER WARNING** **self harm, overdose, suicidal thoughts**
I'm just a mess..help?
Overwhelmed, in need of support and advice 
Anxiety or depression? 
Feeling like a f**k up 
