Best friend, love. Left me.

[OddyTati]

I was with the same man for 14 years...friends first then lovers. About 7 years ago he broke up with me in a cruel way..he called me useless, childish, annoying and more I can't remember...I chased him for months not understanding why he hated me so much. After a while I gave up but then he suddenly called me back and asked me meet. I almost didn't go, fearing he would say more horrible things to me. He didn't, he hugged me. Kissed me and told me things were happening that caused his to lash out (his step father moving his mother into the apartment with no warning, him losing his job. His step dad family hating him). I was so happy.

Now 6 days ago. After being at a cousins baby shower, I come home and wait for him to get off work...he walks in and I get up to kiss and hug him like I always do...he stopped me and said we needed to talk...he told me he didn't love me anymore. Told me he loved me as family. Said he doesn't k ow what he want as in life. Now living with my mother hasn't been easy, she would leave little notes around telling him how to do things. She doesn't like him due to him hurting me before but she supported the relationship. I dont know what I did...he says we lost the intimacy, we went too fast. He just wants to be friends. I poured my heart out to him, suggesting we get our own place, telling him I believed we could be this awesome power couple...he hugs me, kisses my head and says "we'll be ok". Wtf does that mean? Can we still have a future? Does he mean as friends?..this all came so suddenly..my mum has cancer now, 2 weeks ago he said he'd always be there. We even had amazing sex. But now...all I can do is cry in agony. I hate myself for failing yet again at something else...he never said no to a possible future from now...but tells me he doesn't want to give me false hope...I'm lost, confused and missing a piece of my heart. I cant eat, drink or even try to pull myself out of this...I want to die. I want a second chance. People are telling me he just needs time...that he'll come back...I want to hold onto hope...someone help me...

[sweetiepye]

Hello, I wonder if you have heard this saying ' fool me once shame on you/ fool me twice , shame on me' If you go back to him you will have a life time of this behavior. He has told you himself he doesn't want to give you false hope. Believe him. I notice he blames his behavior on other people and you also do that. In reality he is the one calling the shots and manipulating you. I know this is painful to hear, it's harsh really, but I wouldn't be helping you by giving you false hope. You sound like a strong person, you got through this before so you can do it again, then never go back. You deserve better. Pam

[Hidden in reply to sweetiepye]

Great advice Sweetiepie, I wish i would have read this before I gave my ex loser 4 chances and he kept doing bad things to me over and over and the last time was the lowest...he took my money and left me stranded with a broken heart and wallet smh. (Now I really think he had someone else the whole time and was just using me.) I know it's my fault but I should have learned from the first incident instead of falling for his lies and excuses. Now I'm hurting moretbsn ever because of how cruel he did me and I let it happen aswell. Hard lesson to learn smh. To OddyTati, You sound like a beautiful kind person...you deserve better and you will find it on another. Don't let him keep hurting you, i wish i had not let this loser of a man child use and hurt me like he did. We deserve better. Best wishes 😇🌹

[sweetiepye in reply to Hidden]

You did nothing wrong so don't blame yourself. This guy is going to go through life causing a load of hurt to many people, you are going to find someone who appreciates the strong woman you are.Pam

[Hidden in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you Ms Pam, I appreciate your advice so much. I needed to hear that right now, I'm still thinking it was all my fault and what did I do to deserve this after all I did for him. Some people are so cruel out there eso the ones you start to trust and open your whole life to...And all for nothing 😔

[sweetiepye in reply to Hidden]

Each experience makes you a little bit smarter and sadly a little less trusting.

[Hidden in reply to sweetiepye]

Yes this is so true, part of life's lessons I suppose.