possibly depressed friend and really confused..

I really hate to say this but I think my friend is faking/bragging that she is depressed??. I know it's horrible to assume someone's mental state and it makes me feel horrible to say it. I'm 17 and have suffered from all levels of depression and anxiety for a few years now. My friend is also 17 and has claimed to have severe depression for about a year now. One of her friends that she had stopped hanging out with.. and basically wasn't friends with anymore (and one of my old acquaintances) suddenly died about a year ago and every time we hangout.. without fail... she brings up her friends death and how she still hasn't gotten over it. When she even admits that she WAS NOT friends with her and hadn't been friends for a very, very, long time. She makes me feel like trash and that I'm not good enough and that her other "friend" was all she had in this life and that I'm basically just her last option. It sucks. They hadn't even seen each other or spoken in a year before her passing.? She would call me practically every day for months after her friends death and we would talk (mostly her talking about how much her life sucks and me being forced to offer sympathy) and about how bad her depression was getting and how much she felt like she was alone and how bad she missed her friend who had passed away. She would literally tell everyone at our church and school about her "serious depression" and to me, people going through a serious depression don't go around telling anyone and everyone that they are depressed. It took me YEARS to tell one person. ONE person. And then that person ended up telling me that I was basically stupid, and didn't actually have depression, and that I should never call it depression again. So for me to see my friend acting so fking dramatic really pisses me off because she really has no idea what true depression actually us. I was there for her for so long when she was going through everything and now she still expects me to listen to her 2 hr rants every day on why she has it so rough, but won't give me a chance to open up about how I'm feeling so used and alone. Any advice? I'm trying to distance myself away from her but she doesn't understand and won't leave me alone. Any advice for getting out of toxic friendships without hurting the other person? I want to leave this friendship, but we have been friends for like 7 years.. and I don't want to hurt her, but she doesn't realize how she is hurting me. Thanks for listening. Sorry this is really long. All feedback and answers will be appreciated!

[Photogeek]

Hi there, we all deal with Depression in our own individual way, you didn't feel comfortable. Telling people whereas your friend is open about being Depressesd.

I don't think it's healthy of you to say your friend is faking it. This is speculation and you are assuming this, if she is " faking " it as you say, then this behaviour is unhealthy and would tell me she has mental health problems.

Forget about her and concentrate on yourself, and be assertive and tell her that you should don't want to listen to her talking all the time, keep your distance And if she starts ranting just say " I have to go now as I am busy" she will soon get the message.

This is my view and I don't see that it's healthy to get into a " Who is the most Depressed" competition, Death affects people differently and maybe she is upset. But my view is stop obsessing about her and her problems and concentrate on your life. I think you will be much happier as you cannot change people but you can change how you react to them.

Hannah

[Hidden in reply to Photogeek]

Thank you, Hannah. I will take all those tips into consideration. I never meant to come across as trying to say "I have it worse off than her" or "I'm more depressed.." I was just trying to give a general background of the situation so that anyone that read it could understand better. Thanks for taking the time to listen, I really do appreciate it.

[Photogeek in reply to Hidden]

Hi Molly what a lovely mature girl you are, I'm blown away by your maturity in answering a Post here. It can be hard if people tend to talk about themselves a lot, I find this sometimes too, because I am quiet and more a listener than a talker, people can if I'm not careful dominate the conversation and I end up getting resentful and stressed and bored of hem too, so I need to be much more assertive and try and divert them away from talking about themselves all the time. It's hard but I tend to avoid these types of people.

Molly it's lovely to have young people on here as they bring a freshness and honesty which is lovely.

Hannah

[WhiteAlice]

It sounds like your friend is behaving immaturely. Distance probably is your best bet. If she insists on klinging to you, be as gentle and honest with her as you can. Then brace yourself. If you are right about her act, she will likely attack you, call you names, and try to ruin your reputation. I've seen it happen before. She may be depressed, but it seems a much bigger issue is at hand. Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to WhiteAlice]

Thank you! I will try to distance myself more than I am already attempting. I appreciate you listening and giving me advice.

[Hidden]

Hi itsmollyyy nice to meet you and welcome to the site. Can I please ask you to familiarise yourself with the Community Guidelines. You will find them on the pinned posts on the right. Thank you. x