Help I lost a good friend and i want ... - Mental Health Sup...

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Help I lost a good friend and i want her back but should i contact her and will she respond?

Nicechick55 profile image

Hey guys so i met this girl at a social group and we became very good friends, shes very sweet and caring. Her ex boyfriend added me on facebook and started flirting with me and i told her and she told me not to encourge it as she loves him. I told her i wouldn't but i still did because i didnt want to seem rude..i even saw him without her knowing. I told her a secret of mine that i didnt really want anyone knowing it was working as a prostitue and she ended up telling her ex boyfriend what i did for a job. Her ex boyfriend told me and said that she said it because she was afraid he would chat me up because he said i was pretty on facebook. She told him she regretted telling him. She even told me a secret that her dad had cancer and not to tell anyone and i did but she doesnt know i did. I would also say she was ugly to my friend behind her back. Anyway i sent her two messages confronting her about it and told her i was pissed off and asked her why she did it and no response :( i ended up sleeping with her ex because he nagged me for sex and i was depressed but i never liked him. She was speculating that we had sex too. i would go out with her and her close guy friend often and after 3 months after i found out what she told her ex, her friend contacted me twice and i didn't respond so he unfriended me on facebook :( its been about a year since i heard from her and about 7 months since ive chatted to her guy friend. I wish i responded to her guy friend because i could have asked him about her. I really wish i did and now i think its too late to respond to him because i dont even think he will respond to me? I mean do you think he will respond to me? What excuse could i tell him for not responding to him for months? Im so confused and not sure how to get her back :( i miss her lots and do you guys have tips? Do u think she will ever chat to me again? Thanks.

6 Replies

Hi. I'm going to be honest. I think this friend thinks you let her down. Do you think sub consciously or is it cobcsioys you are trying to push her away? Were you jealous of her? By calling her ugly and seeing her ex boyfriend this would not make her happy, what she did find out. The past is done. How will you move on now? Would you say sorry? A fresh start. We can talk more. These things are a lesson. I would like to help.

*Conscious, spelling mistake above.

Hi smugcat thanks a lot for your reply. I was hoping to get a response on here. She never knew i flirted with him or saw him she just had a feeling we where meeting up but she had no idea we would kiss and she didnt know we had sex and im 100% sure no one told her. He sent nude photos and i told her about it and she told me not to encourage it. She just kept hounding him to be with her but he had no feelings for her at all. I slept with her ex boyfriend after i found out that she told him about my job. She told her ex about the job i do way before all this happened when we agreed she wouldn't tell anyone. I know she was jealous of me because she wouldn't have told her ex boyfriend about my job probably to make me look bad and she would say she was jealous of me and my boyfriends relationship plus im pretty and shes not. Shes a very depressed girl and very hard on her self and i was always there for her through her hard times advising her etc. I would even pick her up all the time when we went out. Suddenly we just fell apart. I think we where both jealous of eachother but she was more jealous of me than i was of her. She didnt know i called her ugly infront of my ex boyfriend. I really care for her and there could be many reasons why she suddenly didnt respond to me when i asked her why she told her ex boyfriend about my job. Because why would she suddenly not respond when i confronted her about her mistake? She had no idea what was going on between me and her ex boyfriend anyway apart from my ex boyfriend telling her that i wasn't being 100% honest with her. Im not sure if i am pushing her away because i wasn't 100% happy being her friend because she was depressed and would cut her self etc. The strange thing is she never unfriended me on facebook. I unfriended her and she hasent removed our photos on there either. Sorry for the long message i just dont know what to do to get her back.

Hi Nicechick, I have to say this kinda hit a nerve for me. I totally understand your position and it must difficult, however you should never entertain your friends ex to start with, she even asked you to respect this. Unfortunately, this was always going to be a toxic path from what you've explained. For me, you should always treat others how you like to be treated. And although you are vulnerable, this was your friend, and think her decision not to speak with you is pretty fair given the situation. You needed to be honest with your friend here and not go behind her back, as I'm sure you would have not enjoyed the her sleeping with your ex of yours! Hindsight is a powerful tool.

As others are suggesting, I'd learn from this and start a fresh. That's fair on everyone!

I'm not trying to be mean, however you need to know your friend has plausible grounds not to want to speak with you again, so I'd move on.

Big love,


ALSO DO NOT IMPLEMENT 'GET HER BACK' - this is a piss poor attitude, if she's depressed your friend won't want this. The second message, I rarely say this, but that's not how you treat people. I'm angry, you think it's ok to call your friend ugly!!! GRRRRRRR.

Nicechick55 profile image
Nicechick55 in reply to

Well if you read all of my post juice i did state that i only hung out with her ex as friends and i did not entertian kissing or hugging him. He wanted a hug so i hugged him. Yes he flirted with me over facebook and we exchanged nudes which was wrong of me to do so but i only did it to hurt my ex boy friend. Having said that i was going to block her ex anyway and i later found out she told him i was sleeping with men for an occupation before i even chatted to her ex boyfriend. Now do you actually think that was sensible of her to blurt that out to him when i clearly told her not to tell anyone and she promised me she wouldn't? It hurt a lot because when i blocked her ex boyfriend he then called my home phone and told my family what i did for a job because of her! I confronted her about it and no responce, if she really a true friend she would have responded to me. She was a very nice girl but she changed afterwards and all i did was be there for her and drove her around in my car whilst all she cared about was sleeping over guys places and fucking them. Her ex clearly didnt want her and they where broken up for months too. So please understand my situation first..

Stop making this poor girls life worse and live your own.

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