my best friend : first i want to... - Mental Health Sup...

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my best friend

Alya96
Alya96

first i want to apologize about the last post, I was just (as others explain) inactive so this cause a kind off being down. So i took their advises and try different things, and it did work. Thanks to everyone who replay to me ;)

so i here to talk about my best friend, or she was. last year I had a huge controversy with my roommates, so she was the only one who stand for me and helped me. I really loved her as my sister .. so last year we were just all the time together .. when one from the second year entered our small group.. we were all fine chatting and having good time .. it was okay, but at the end of the first semester she started to avoid me .. I thought it was just my imagination .. so after the semester i was really worried, she didn't send me back she didn't even answer my calls..

then i decide to call her mother, i was really afraid that something bad happened to her.. she didn't answer my calls but she send me messages through what'sup, she told me that i have to give my friend some spear time and she don't want to see anyone.. she even told me not to meet her at the college... i did what she told me but i couldn't hold myself for more than 3 months .. so i tried to speak to her face to face and tell her everything.. she told me that she's doing this to everyone and it's normal thing ... i didn't want to bother her, so i left .. i saw through her eyes and attitude she don't want to speak to me anymore ..

so all this time i wondered if i did bad thing to her, i was afraid i will really lose her like i lose all my friends before.. she was so nice to me and i really did my best to accompany her and make her happy .. it really breaks my heart to see her leaving me without any word... it really hurts .. and now it has been 7 months since the last time she reply to me .. she blocked me everywhere ..

we were so much alike, like we meant to be together ... so i thought it was because our new friend, but she so nice .. and my friend was in good mood with her, like they had the same taste of music and like same bands .. so when she started to act weird, i thought she was jealous ...because i know myself ... when i was in high school i was so jealous to my friends so this cause a lot of arguments ... i learned from my mistakes.. but she was all mature, so i told myself she can't be jealous because of this she know that i will be loyal to her, and i really do..

so now i really don't know what's wrong, have i done something hurts her? or she's jealous and i ignore her feelings .. i don't know .. i want to know, i want to be friend with her again .. it really hurts me she just ignore me and left without any words... i tried to move on, for real, for real, for real .. but i wasn't able to stop thinking about her.. i just i want to say i am sorry for anything i did just be my friend again ..

6 Replies
oldestnewest

Hello Alya96, Sorry to hear that you have not heard from your friend for such a long time despite your best efforts to make contact. I really don't think that you have done anything wrong at all. This just seems to be where your friend is at the moment and it may be unlikely that anything you can do right now will change her mind. All I can suggest is to try and get the message to her somehow that you are there for her if ever she wants to make contact. I know from your post that you have had previous advice about keeping busy which you have found helpful and that advice might help you again right now. It is important that you look after yourself and recognise that you have done the best you can by your friend. Best wishes.

Alya96
Alya96
in reply to MAS_Nurse

Hi Mas

Thanks for your reply .. I trying already to make myself busy .. at least to move on .. and thanks for your kind words, I feel much better now

Alya

All I will advise is that you move on and accept Her wishes She no longer wants to talk to you. You are still young and there are many people looking for a friend like you.

The same happened to me, I was keen on a girl I had known since starting Secondary Education. She was eighteen months older than me and I played with her Brother right

up until leaving school. I tried to date, it was age that put Her off. She moved away and that was it, it was strange she would tell me all about a boy she started going out with, He seemed cruel.

We move on and hopefully will meet the right person for friendship and also more. There is little you can do, just wait and see if when She recovers Her life choices may change back to past people She moved away from. Although personally I would not hold your breath

BOB

Alya96
Alya96
in reply to borderriever

Hi Bob

Wow, u know I really needed someone to tell me that she doesn't want me as friend or anything .. so it's real for now .. Thanks for your positive words..

And I am sorry for the girl u liked ..

U r totally right in moving on, and I am trying for real, I have many good friends .. the things is she was so special for me .. she was the only one who helped me when I was going through hard time .. it hurts, but I have to move on

Thanks again

Hey! I’m sorry to hear about your friend. It sucks when someone moves on and they don’t tell you why. I’m the type of person that needs closure... or to at least want to know. Avoidance sucks. Ignoring someone hurts. I’ll never understand how some can walk away and give no reason. This has happened to me a few times and it never gets easier. I woke up one day and decided that I’d rather have no friends, than to deal with ‘friends’ like this. It’s their loss, and I had to ask myself if I even wanted a friend like that.

Taking control this way really helped me :) I was eventually able to make other friends by complete accident and moved on. I still don’t know what happened or why and I had to find a way to get over it.

I was able to see a therapist to help me deal with my feelings and I can’t tell you how much that helped. She helped me realize how relationships/friendships should work. Also, what to look for in others. For example, I learned I had boundary issues and was often attracted to toxic people. I learned how to spot these folks and it’s helped more than I can say.

Good luck to you!

It's really sucks, u feel so guilty .. u will think that u r the bad person, or the fault is all on u.. i feel like i am the bad person here.. but u know what, u r right, it's their loss .. i was so good to them and i treated them as friends but they left without any words .. it's fine life will move on.. an i still have great friends who still will miss me and want me to be in their life :) that feels good

however, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, it's really helpful to share your experience with someone knows how do u feel ..

thanks again

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