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update about the breakup..is it gonna be fine!!!!

Hi

So i broke up with my ex boyfriend as i said in the previous post.

Now he is talking to my friend and kept talking about money and power and saying that he worship me (if that's the right word).. my friend told him that i'm fine so he told her it means that he doesn't mean anything to me and he kept talking... i loved him, he was my one and only, i throw everything aside and i'm still trying to get over him because i know that i made the right chose, i know he is not the right person as i though in the beginning

He doesn't have close friends or someone to talk to so he kept talking to my friend until she called me and told me that she can't handle it anymore because he kept saying the same thing over and over, he didn't listen or understand (he always been like that, he only listen to the voice in his head)

Today, he text me that we should stay friends and than he added 2 other messages and he tried to call me 5 times.. that's not friendship and if we stay friend it's gonna get harder so i didn't answer the texts and here i am shaking and thinking what am i suppose to do! is it gonna be ok! what should i do!

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If you finished the friendship (he was your boyfriend) just tell him your not interested and ask your friend not to discuss you to him as he might get the wrong idea that if she goes back and forwards enought theres a chance ! Also block his number on your phone as soon as you can !

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i told him, i tried to explain to him that we can't be together anymore but he didn't accept the breakup

I blocked him on my phone

I will talk to my friend and tell her to not discuss our situation any further so he won't get the wrong idea

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Well done! I know you may want to be nice to him and explain, maybe because of what you had and the love you had for him, but he will take it the wrong way, because he WANTS it to mean something. This is not your fault and also it is not your responsibility how he feels. He is a grown up and he will be fine. Cutting him out totally maybe feels harsh, but sometimes that is the only way. You need to get on with your life now and he needs to deal with his. Take Care!

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exactly, i felt that cutting him off is so harsh.. if it's the only way then i shouldn't back out

thank you for the support i really appreciate it

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Hi ang95, again sorry for this stress, and yes it too shall pass. It’s fresh so it’s happening right now. But it will subside. I was like your ex after my breakup. But after awhile I just stopped. Now fast forward a year later, we’re not back together but we are at a place where I can text and he will respond.

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Thanks again for replying and sharing your story

Hopefully everything will be fine

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Hi ang95 I would also get your friend to Block his number as well, that way its not putting your friend in the middle of this and making her feel awkward, He will soon get the message. It takes quite a long time to get over someone you love, and longer for others, You both hopefully will get to place where your be able to be friends or even just say Hi to each other if you see him, But the saying is"Cruel to be Kind" and its not because your being nasty or your a nasty person, its just because he cant let go, and you need him to for your own sake and for you to move on with your life and get back on track and take time out for yourself to heal yourself and find out what you want to do and go in life... I hope it all works out for you. Stay Strong, You got This xx

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Thank you for you support i really appreciate it

I hope everything will work out fine..

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Ang - we are all saying cut him out of your life, block him, don't care about him, he will accept it in due course, and so on...easy to do and say when we are angry, but as you mention in your post, you loved this person, he was the one and only, he was the man you wanted, he was your partner and lover once, so you having to act and be somebody your really not must feel like acting in a cruel, harsh, hurtful and guilty way?!

I admire you for realising that regardless of the above, you are very clear this relationship is over, the ship has passed, your mind and heart are working together very well here and your determination and intelligence will get you through this regardless of his attempts to 'win' you back!

Will you be 'fine'...yes of course you will, you are well on your way to being ok believe it or not, you are dealing with the breakup and progression is happening as we speak, the ex will in time deal with it his own way and I suspect from my own past experiences he will turn it all on to you in anger and start getting nasty!

My advice is simple just like all the others have posted. You block him 💯% out of your life for the next 60 days at least. You block any contact or communication or checking his social media or his friends, you block your friends from talking about him whether they have seen him or not!

You then crack on doing good things for you, excercise is a massive help, good friends who make us laugh and listen when needed, good food, good sleep! Good movies, work, studies, the od naughty thing (whatever that is in your life) - it's not all going to be smooth sailing, but I tell you, in 60 days time you will feel completely different...it's about you and you only now!

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thank you so much for the support i really appreciate it

Well, if there is the possibility that he can get nasty, that's not good.. that's actually scary

Maybe it's gonna be fine, i have nothing to do about it, it's a matter of time like you said and i'm gonna focus on myself and try my best to move on

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Hi there, first of all that's amazing you felt powerful enough to do that. Well done and I wouldn't doubt whether you did the right thing or not because it sounds like you did. Personally for me, I stopped any communication with my ex and it really helped me in the long run. He's obviously realising that he messed up and unfortunately it's too late. You should feel so proud of yourself everytime he tries to contact you and you reject it, that in itself is amazing that you don't go running back to him. I couldn't be friends with any of my exes personally, because there still would have been feelings of some kind somewhere but maybe in time you could. The best thing I did was to focus on myself, learn how to like myself, find out what I like as a person because it was always me and "someone else", I didn't have independence. Get yourself to the point of I don't need anyone and I love me and you'll feel bloody fantastic. Good luck x

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He couldn't accept the break up because in previous fights, i always go running back to him.. this time i didn't and he didn't expect that, that's why he is in shoc

I just hope he will get better and focus on his life and for me i will take care of myself and try my best to move on

Thanks for the support i really appreciate it

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Apologies Ang, I meant nasty in the context of passing the blame on to you, bad mouthing you and so on, I don't mean threatening in any other means, however should any of that happen do not hesitate to take whatever action necessary and contact the Police. I am hoping he is also intelligent enough to get the message it's over and begin his own recover and acceptance, once the dust settles for him.

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let's hope it's won't get there.. i'm gonna be positive and i'm gonna put all the possibilities in my mind too

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