I don’t know what’s wrong with me

[Anonymous200]

I feel like there is something wrong with me but I don’t know what. I am 16 and whenever I get upset, it almost always leads to bad thoughts about harming myself or others which leads to breakdowns or depression. I know something is wrong with me, because this can’t be normal. I do impulsive or bad things depending on how upset I am or the situation. I will get upset over the smallest things and often have thoughts of suicide when I am upset. It scares me because I don’t know what to do about it and I know that’s not how I want to think or act. I am usually a very happy person and I consider myself weird and funny in a good way but sometimes I have these moments when I consider if I am actually sane. Please help me, any advice would help.

[Stilltrying_]

You definately need to see a professional. Your first port of call should be your GP. It is difficult for us to say on here what could be the matter with you but there are illnesses like bipolar which can have symptoms like you are describing and respond very well to drug treatment. There is also something called borderline personality disorder; but it may be that you have neither of these conditions which is why it is important to see a doctor and ask to see a mental health professional to get a proper diagnosis or even to give you the information that you don't have any mental disorder. However I would suggest that as you are getting suicidal thoughts there is clearly something wrong and you need to get the right help for this. Only a professional can do this. X

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Anonymous200 and welcome. As Stilltyying has said in her reply getting some professional input would be a good first step. Have a look around the site at the pinned posts and the crisis lines in particular Samaritans on 116 123. You can talk to them anytime about anything at all that is upsetting or scaring you. Take care and please keep in touch.

[HUanon]

Reading your post really saddened me because I very closely relate to what you’re saying. The thing is that although it’s not a nice place to be, the more I read, the more I realise that we are not alone. So many people have the same thoughts and feelings but no one likes to share how they feel. Life is hard and constantly disappointing. You only have to read the news to leave you feeling suicidal in my opinion but each day I try so hard to acknowledge the good stuff. It may be that you have to give in to accepting that some form of medication may help keep you from feeling so irratic. I know it’s a boring story but a good diet, sleep and exercise really does do wonders. It’s finding the motivation & then sticking to it that’s the hardest. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other as best you can and know that you are not alone in how you feel.