Am I being overdramatic or is there really something wrong with me?

Ok, so I'm new to this site and am hoping to get some advise from someone who may be going though the same struggle as me. About two years ago I started to loose motivation to do the things I usually looked forward to doing, and from there I just started to go down hill. I'm tired all the time, and usually end up sleeping pretty much all day and most of the night. I've lost about 50lb due to lack of an appetite and have no energy. I find myself crying for no reason at random times of the day, and no matter how hard I try to push bad thoughts out of my head I just can't held repeating to myself that I'm useless, fat, ugly, a failure, and a disappointment to my family compared to my older successful siblings. I'm pretty bad at school and definitely not the smartest person in the world and because of my bad social anxiety I have no friends to talk to. I've never harmed myself though I have thought about it more than a few times. So.... my question is should I go get diagnosed by a professional, and find someone to help me or is it just a waste of time? My family is really worried about me and have tried to sit me down to try and talk to me to understand how I'm feeling but, Everytime they try I just end up getting upset and anxious and lock myself up in my room. I've tried different methods to try and motivate myself but, nothing so far has worked and I just seem to be getting worse. I hardly every come out of my room anymore and I have a strong felling of dread that comes over me whenever I have to get out of bed to do something. Please help me figure this out! 😞 Edit: People keep sending me private messages asking my age but, for some reason my phone isn't letting me reply. So, to answer your question I'm 18.

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11 Replies

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  • You've come to the right place here because many of us feel the same kind of way. And yes definitely go to get diagnosed by a professional! They're just people and some are better at their jobs than others but it is a fantastic First Step that can make you feel like you are taking control of your situation. Your family is concerned and they've tried to talk to you about it which is great. Not everyone has that type of support and you are very fortunate to have that resource so please talk to them too. You can definitely get through this.

  • You definitely need to see a GP who will know what sort of Dr. you need to see, and your GP can also rule out any physical illness which could be the problem. Make sure to be completely honest with your Dr. they won't judge you, they've heard it all before. Your behavior sounds like depression, but you need professionals for help with this . Read some of the post on here and you'll start to get an idea of what it's like to have depression and what treatment is like. Remember there are different kinds of depression and people react differently. You will get this figured out. Pam

  • You are definitely not being dramatic and you need to see the doctor. You also need to let you r family know what s going on with you. If they are the kind of family that are supportive that will help you alot. It's really hard talking about mental health problems but it can make you feel better about things as soon as you have. It won't fix the problem but it's a start. I'm no expert but I think the sooner you take some action the sooner you will stop sinking further into depression.

    It sounds like you have your whole life ahead of you. You can get better. Depression is an illness not some character flaw.

    Good luck 🍀

  • You are a very impressive person. You are clearly insightful and intelligent to be able to realise a problem, recognise it and search for ways to cope with it. Diagnosing is usually an external thing; you've done it already. Depression is an illness; in the same way as measles. As we know less about depression clinically the treatment is not as advanced as it is for other illnesses.

    Firstly, be kind to yourself. You deserve it. You are intuitively intelligent from what you write so you don't deserve criticism; you should be getting praise.

    Don't pressurise yourself, easier said than done I know.

    And get a doctor's appointment to start treating the illness

    Good luck

  • Yes, sounds as if you are depressed. As others say, it is an illness and can be treated. Please get help from your doctor xxxxxxxx

  • Hi I agree with the others. I presume you are 16 or older? In which case you are considered an adult and can seek help for yourself without having to involve other people. If you are still a minor then your parents/school counsellor needs to be helping you. x

  • Definitely seek professional help. In the meantime, stay on this site and talk it out. You are among friends.

  • Hello my name is Stafford. I am not a sufferer it was my wife who had problems after the death of her Father it really kicked in. On my suggestion she approached our GP. This was the start of a merry go round of Phsychiatrists, Drugs and basically Nutcases. They made her worse. These idiots just kept putting crazy ideas into her head. She became so bad she was unable to work life became impossible. I was terrified I did not know what was going to happen next. The cocktail of drugs and the fact that in conjunction with these she could not have a lot of her favourite foods made her worse.

    I cannot say if this is atypical it is just what happened in my family. Quite obviously I can go on and on about this ad infinititum and wear out my Computer!

    You are obviously quite young as you mention school. You are a person you are not a waste of space you have all your life to enjoy. Get active get out and about. Do not fall into the trap of just hanging about in your room at home. A good idea is to go cycling. Join a group there are free ones about who will lend you a bike if you do not have your own. I am not talking about a Road Club just a bunch of ordinary people who want to have a bit of exercise and fun and socialise. Do some voluntary work and help others less fortunate than you. Motivate yourself by doing something that will engage your mind you do not have to be a Brain Box!

    What you can do of course depends on your age. Local Riding for The Disabled groups are always looking for helpers. Horses are therapeutic you gain experience and confidence as you go along. Join an Army Cadet Force Unit. Check things out on the Internet for these ideas. Do not be deterred by half baked kids who know nothing about nothing except what similar kids Know!

    If you must take advice do not use drugs or alcohol as a prop they will make you worse.

    Regards

    Staff.

  • Hey, first of all I want to say well done for reaching out. I totally know how it feels to wonder whether you are overreacting or not. It was about ten years ago when I was at school my depression began to get really bad, but at the time I shrugged it off and tried to power through out of stubbornness even though I was struggling inside and going through the exact same symptoms you have listed. I just assumed it was the way all teenagers felt at the time, I thought everyone had such dark thoughts and I even had a suicide attempt when I was 16 thinking it was a normal way to react to some bad news (obviously not!). I wish that I had been brave enough to ask for help.

    It took me until I was at 22 and struggling with university living on my own and relying on myself to finally see a GP and get diagnosed, and they tried me out on some anti-depressants. I was sceptical because I had seen people only ever complain about them before, but the thing with anti-depressants is 1. they may actually make you feel worse at first before the effects start to settle, and you MUST continue to take them to see how it pans out which can be difficult to deal with, and 2. when they do kick in they will not exactly 'cure' you, but make your moods more manageable, I think people assume they will make you feel really happy all the time which is not true.

    I have tried a few different ones, and I am now on medication that works really well for me and I am starting a course of therapy in January too. Finally beginning to feel the most 'normal' I have in ... well, I can't even remember! So I would definitely recommend seeing your GP as soon as possible before things get any worse. Like with any illness, if left too long there can be devastating consequences. Also if something doesn't work out first time whether you have a bad side effect from meds or just a rubbish doctor, you must always keep trying and finding out ways to cope because you deserve to get better.

    Best of luck to you x

  • Euch, I just hate being compared to my siblings. If they are doing better than me it makes me feel as if I am being criticised; if they are doing worse it makes me feel guilty. Why? Because my parents always used comparisons to try to motivate me. Comparisons do not motivate me because I am essentially not competitive. ( Edit. I am competitive, if left to myself, as like most people I enjoy being good at something, but I am also stubborn and hate being manipulated. I was smart enough to realise what was going on and refused to play. This infuriated my parents, who, instead of stopping this ploy, just tried harder and harder to make me submit. I also experienced problems as a child, where my successes outside the family were downplayed or ignored, as my sister would get very jealous and throw a tantrum to get the attention back on her. I think my parents realised the mistake they had made but I was the one who paid for it. This is a great reason why parents should not compare their kids with each other.)

    My parents mistake was to use a single approach to a set of different children. It worked fine with some of them, (Edit: with the ones who were best placed to win anyway) so they assumed it was the right way to parent, but was damaging to me. What made it worse was that they witheld love and approval unless you met their standards. Rather than see this as the reason to try harder it made me feel deeply insecure, probably because I too was not as sporty, or clever or confident as my siblings. I feel I was tricked into having to compete with my siblings all the time, which damaged my relationship with them too. I'm the sort of person who is introverted, I find it hard to make friends and I relied heavily on my siblings for companionship.

    But what is wrong with that? We cannot all be the same. However if it is your parents attitude that is at fault, and they cannot accept this,then they will not be the right people to help you as they will be all about how to fix you, when in reality you need acceptance, and to learn to accept yourself.

    If it is not down to your parents attitude, it might be something else that was the trigger for you feeling not good enough. Perhaps if you think back you can pinpoint when your thinking changed. Were you hurt by someone? Abused in some way? Did you have a bad experience? Did you get criticised by a teacher or someone you trusted, in a way that was damaging to your self esteem? Did you move house and leave behind your security and feel lost? Did you make friends with someone who was not really a friend, but someone who made themselves feel better by putting you down? All these things can induce a feeling of worthlessness in a sensitive person. It does not mean you are weak, but that you feel things deeply. If you can find the reason it can help you come to terms with it.

  • this is almost exactly how i feel.