Just had enough: Has anyone felt like... - Mental Health Sup...

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Just had enough

aw1912 profile image
13 Replies

Has anyone felt like they’ve had enough? I feel like the things I do get shot down and that what I do is wrong. There are certain things that my wife does that annoy me but I don’t say anything so I don’t upset her but if I did those things I’d get moaned at - it’s simple things like putting the washing powder back so I know it’s silly. I’ve been told to stand up for myself but I just stay quiet.

Sorry for the post but I needed to get it off my chest. Thank you

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aw1912 profile image
aw1912
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13 Replies
Clarebear86 profile image
Clarebear86

Don’t apologise. I used to feel like my husband would put me down all the time complaining about the house, the fact our daughter had her toys out. It just makes you not want to do anything or care when they go on the way they do!

aw1912 profile image
aw1912 in reply to Clarebear86

Thank you for your reply. I love my wife and kids to bits but it annoys me when I try so hard to keep on top of the house yet I get moaned at 😒

Clarebear86 profile image
Clarebear86 in reply to aw1912

Again I can totally relate, have you told her about how you feel when she goes on like that? There’s more to life at the end of the day. Especially when kids are involved. Housework etc can wait, we need to enjoy here and now.

aw1912 profile image
aw1912 in reply to Clarebear86

I haven’t told her yet, I don’t tend to say how I feel, I get on with it and then it affects me loads. When the house is messy it stresses my wife out, she’ll have a go and then it makes me feel bad

aw1912 profile image
aw1912

I don’t understand people either! Simple things like not putting a new toilet roll on the holder, I do it but my wife doesn’t

aw1912 profile image
aw1912

I can spend hours tidying up while my wife is out, I forgot to change the flowers and I got moaned at for that, didn’t get anything for me sorting the house out all day!

rossie1942 profile image
rossie1942 in reply to aw1912

Awful thing people only notice what you haven't done rather than all the good. Could you try and make time to have a meal out together and tell how much you love her as maybe she too is feeling down and taking it out on you. If it's any consolation a lot of relationships are like yours

aw1912 profile image
aw1912

My wife works full time so if I’m not helping her I’m at home. I have moments where I just want it to be perfect for her, she worked today but went to bed with our newborn baby when she got back as she’s not very well so I’ve sorted the other two kids out, downstairs is tidied, toys away, washing up done, bins out, and a few loads of washing but I can only think that I’ll get moaned at in the morning for not doing something. I don’t like a untidy house but I can’t be bothered sometimes

Hatgurl3625 profile image
Hatgurl3625 in reply to aw1912

Maybe it’s not you that is the issue, maybe it is her. Coming from a mum maybe she’s feeling down and stressed after the birth? Obviously I have no idea of the whole situation but I know I have not been right since my daughter was born.

aw1912 profile image
aw1912 in reply to Hatgurl3625

That’s what I’m hoping it is - sometimes I just wish I don’t get moaned at for doing a good job! It sounds so silly!

salfnd profile image
salfnd

Hi Have you actually tried sitting down once your alone and asking if she is ok and if there is anything that is bothering her? That way you have opened up lines of communication for her to start talking and then you could start telling her how you have been feeling and try to work things out this way instead of bottling up your feelings because this isnt good for you and it will come to a point when it gets to much for you and your going to explode and its just all going to get out of hand, o before this happens try and resolve any situations you may have now, thats my advice. Hope it all works out for you xx

welly10 profile image
welly10

Know the feeling but you do have to take hold of your life I'll say it again your life.read a book called feel the fear and do it any way by susan jeffers.you kneed to 're learn a few things but staying quiet all the time is killing you day by day.you need to talk to your wife empower yourself.dont give her all the power.

Ehsanbey profile image
Ehsanbey

Hahaha Thanks God first of all this time I havent read a serious story, secondly totally understand you, me and my dad have same probs sometimes, yeah like you said those are simple parameters but when someone tends to repeat igonring them it is frustrating, I have one example for you, when I go to bath I wash the soap bar completely so no hair or dirt remain but my dad doesnt care and when I told him dad this is not pleasant, again he forgets it after a or two times washing the soap bar or soaking slippers, yeah I know they seem simple but they are mandatory to oblige in my opinion.

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