I’m new here and I have had depression for over ten years and now recently me and the gf have split and I’m struggling at the moment :(

[Welshman41]

I feel like there is no hope for me no more and honestly I feel like ending things at the moment, I won’t do that though cause I could never do that to my mam, but these last couple of days have been a big struggle. Well, so far it’s taking me about half an hour for me to just type what I just said cause there is just to much on my mind and I just can’t concentrate and I will leave it there for now, I honestly don’t know what I’m doing no more

[lovemyselfnaked]

You are not alone in this. Sometimes our lives go through bad patches that make us lose hope in what the future could hold for us. Today is a bad patch. I suggest to get your thoughts in order, use post it notes, or write it down in a journal or a scrap piece of paper. It really doesn’t matter but it will help you to organise it. You have so much potential in your life, but you don’t have to decide what you’re doing with it right away. Talk to a friend or family or me and you’ll have someone to ride this out with. Sending lots of love your way x

[Welshman41 in reply to lovemyselfnaked]

Thank you for the reply and advice, I really do appreciate it, thank you!

[Suzie40]

Couldn't ignore a fellow welsh person - we are few and far between on this site! Whereabouts are you? I'm South!

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. I have been in crisis on and off for a few months now, so I understand those feelings of hopelessness and desperation. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I appreciate you can't see it right now. You mention your Mum - have you talked to her about how you're feeling?

[Welshman41 in reply to Suzie40]

im from the south to, and nah I don’t tell my mam anything when it comes to me feeling low cause I have put her through enough, with things like, the first couple of years of my depression I tried to end things which didn’t work out unfortunately and even though I didn’t really know what I was doing back then I still remember the sadness in my mams face and on top of all that cut a long story short she as been the only one apart from my ex who have looked after my financially and stuff so she has already done and doing more than she should ever have to. This feeling of being looked after is one of many many things that get me down and trust me when I say I have tried so many times to get help but I do feel like there ain’t any out there and when you keep trying and feeling like your being let down by government or whoever is to blame you just give up and you end up feeling worse. In reality I’m blessed cause I got a roof over my head and food going into my belly, so how can I be depressed? Why can’t I feel blessed? But when I try and think positive I remember things like? My mam looks after me and things like that so it’s just one big circle for me and I just feel that there is no hope unfortunately. Thank you for replying for some reason I actually do feel a little better, thank you!

[Jackstoll in reply to Welshman41]

I feel you my friend. I also think that way. Even though Ive live a really simple life and all, I feel like I dont know what to do in life. I lost my purpose of life and unable to have any in the moment (its been 2 or 3 years I guess since I broke up with my ex). But, I discover that God still with us, have hope my friend.

[Welshman41 in reply to Jackstoll]

It’s hard ain’t it my friend and Thank you bro for the kind words I really appreciate it, try and stay strong!! If you want to talk I’m willing to listen and you never know I might even have something to say to help you, all the best! ✌🏼

P.s if you do reply I might not be able to answer back straight away it could be today, tomorrow or when I can ok, thank you again

[Welshman41 in reply to Suzie40]

I’m sorry, I’m so rude sometimes.... I didn’t even ask anything about yourself, this is what I mean by I’m hopeless these days, I like to think of myself as a nice person but my brain just don’t work like it should sometimes and I don’t think..... you said you have been going through a crisis on and off lately? If you want to talk about it that would be nice, I might not be the best person to talk to and my grammar ain’t the best I know, lol, but I found just replying to you was a nice load off my mind and might help a bit. I’m hopeless with technology and I’m not even sure if what I’m texting you is private or public so if you ever need someone to talk to private or public I’m willing to listen and hopefully I will have something I could say to maybe help if possible? Just having someone to listen helps sometimes I think?

[Blacksheep123]

Hi! I know what you are going through. Even though I'm from the north I live in Illinois but we are moving to indiana next month. Change can be hard. It's because you are used to having it a certain way and it just isn't like that. But we adjust. We have to. It's like when you are in a hot car. Your body hates it it wants to breathe so you sweat. Weird analogy but our bodies are meant for change. I'm going through a breakup myself. It happened 8 months ago but the scar is still there. It hurts and the more I think about it the happier I am. Th at is, the more I think a bout my ex, I'm happier. He was nice and all. But he's moved on. It is a slap in the face. Some days I don't want to get up in the morning. Other days j wonder if I'm actually alive. Numbness. Anger. Sadness. I've had lows before in my life. So I guess I've had to go through dark times before and each time I got out. So I just wait. I wait until I crawl out. Life wasn't meant to be easy though. It's meant for us to fall. We are supposed to. If life was so easy, we would start to look for problems. That's my theory on things. In the meantime, distract yourself. But don't just kill time. Anyone can kill time people who aren't depressed do it all the time. They smoke. Do drugs. They get into trouble. Do something that makes you whole inside. Anything that makes you happy. Go and hang out with a positive friend. It doesn't have to be a perfect day. Just try and be social. It helps trust me. Being home is for sleeping and rest. Remember we are social creatures too. We need support. We need love. Online forums are awesome. But real life is even better. Join a support group. Go to your favorite place. It could be anything. Find people that get you. Im 23 btw. And I realized that life got harder after high school but I got depressed because I focused more on the problems and bad things In life , like loneliness and stress. In high school I was involved in a lot of things. Force yourself to do something new. I will too. Get out of this rut. Make it your new years resolution if you haven't made one yet. Trust me I feel your pain. It hurts. Breakups suck. Especially for people who have big hearts and I feel you do. We will be ok. Even if it's not tomorrow or today or in a week or a month. But I'm commuted to staying alive because I want to see where my life is takingn me. It's a ride. There will be twists and turns. You so want to puke sometimes. And curse. And you'll feel like your dying. But if you hold on you'll realize at the end that the ride was so fun. Have fun hun. Whatever that means to you xoxo

[Welshman41 in reply to Blacksheep123]

That’s was a really nice read and I will certainly take some of what you said on board, thank you so much, and just curious when you say we are moving away, is that you and your kid or kids? or you and your parents?

[Blacksheep123 in reply to Welshman41]

With my parents. They make me totally depressed

[Welshman41 in reply to Blacksheep123]

I’m sorry to hear that. And yes moving away can be hard I know, hopefully you will settle in quick and find some new positive people you can be around....if you ever want to talk you know where to come... wishing you all the best xoxo

[Blacksheep123 in reply to Welshman41]

Thanks you too.

My sister moved out and it hit me so hard. My relationships aren't very good either. I jump from relationship to relationship sometimes. I do have issues with boundaries too. I'm gunna write a new post about what I'm going thru. I need to seek therapy j have way too much on my mind. Sometimes my brain lies to me saying no one cares and no one really understands my struggles. Do you guys get like that too? How do you cope??? My brain isolates me. It's weird. It's like I don't even know why but I feel do alone. Like nothing is right.

[Welshman41 in reply to Blacksheep123]

feeling alone is not a nice feeling I know cause I’m going through it to, I keep getting this empty horrible feeling in my stomach making me feel like I want to be sick and I don’t know how to get rid of it, I’m sorry I ain’t got anything really positive to say today but I’m really struggling myself today and my mind also keeps wondering off and I can’t think or concentrate sorry, just remember today will be different from tomorrow and the next day will be different again, things will get better, try and stay strong xoxo

[Blacksheep123 in reply to Welshman41]

Thanks Welsh. You are an inspiration. You are going places. 😊

[chriseb]

Hi I've also had depression for long long time still taking the pills, although times when I chuck them across the room, just so fed up with coping and pills I think only ones staying happy is the medics that I'm taking them, ha ha. Times when I feel ok then from nowhere I become emersed in a dark cloud, doctor says think of happy time,I said him that's like standing in shorts and tee shirt in the middle of winter, what's helped me is my Jack Russell, he always looks like he's listening, now after many years on my own ,I have a partner, who may not understand everything I'm feeling,although I don't either sometimes. I guess what I'm trying to say is talk to someone who'll listen, its help me at times. From another Welsh man stay strong

[Welshman41 in reply to chriseb]

Hey bro thanks for the reply, I have only just noticed your reply sorry, I hope all is well!!

[Ploramicas]

I am welsh too (originaly from caernarfon) and I had to respond when I saw your flag. I too am going through the feelings that you are, i live with my bf's parents so I have no freedom and most days want to end it to. People do say it will get better, but right now its not is it? I know how you are feeling. Even though it is hard we do have to think of a plan.

[Welshman41 in reply to Ploramicas]

I’m sorry I have only just seen this reply, thank you so much for replying to me, I hope things are going a bit better for you know?

[slightlyjaded]

I have battled depression and anxiety for over 25 years, so when I hit low I’m at the bottom. To get me thru I would chant in my head “it won’t always hurt this bad” ... it works because it’s true.❤️