How can you just forget your past

[raven1974]

Imagine being told everyday of your life that your worthless your stupid you can’t do anything right.

being beaten abused not wanted having to cook for yourself at 12yrs old or go without because drink is more important .

never being allowed out and watch your friends go camping and you are not allowed .stay at home just sitting in your room to escape the abuse .just being abused everyday and left to deal with homework yourself.going to school everyday of your life knowing your going home to that .being woken up late at night and beaten because your mother is so drunk.being sent on the streets to try and look for money for drink.

So scared you loose all friends and anyone u have becuse of it.then spend all your life feeling worthless stupid and then one day meet someone who tells you she

Loves you wow that word you have never had said to you becomes powerful. Then she uses you and dumps you in a week.then you sit feeling even worse thinking all females are bad.

But Then you finally meet someone else Mary and have a child that someone that now tells you you are worth everything you are not stupid and you are good at things you and loves u.

.but even tho I’m told that I’ve spent so long never knowing that it’s not going to go away just because I’m now being told it . So how can others say you need to think

Of the future and forget the past

When can you do that then it’s not just going to go. I can’t seem to do that I can’t forget years of abuse

So if others have then how because I’m trying and it’s not working.i walk around smiling when deep inside I’m not and all I’m told is think of the future.

Maybe it’s me I’ve got stuck in this world of I’m worthless and stupid is that possible I don’t know .

I help everyone always have and get used for it . I think trying to prove myself has become part of life now because I don’t want to seem like a failure .

I know millions of people are suffering abuse and hurts more as I know they are suffering maybe on there own like I had to.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi raven1974,

What you have been through cannot simply be erased. Yes, the love of someone special will have begun that healing process. But the impact and years of abuse doesn't simply go away. You need professional medical help to start to deal with the memories and the trauma. If you have not done already, may I encourage you to speak to your GP about how you are feeling and what has happened, and ask for a mental health referral for talking therapies. There are many different types of the counselling so if one doesn't suit, another may do.

Do keep in touch and hopefully, you will the support of this community will help.

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse and Moderator

[raven1974 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank u it means a lot .i did go to the doctors who sent me to mind and they called once every 2weeks by phone it did not help but was refused face to face help as they said I did not meet the needs for help .they never even give me a chance to try

[hypercat54]

Hi I agree with the Nurse. You can never forget all those years or abuse but you can learn how to move on past them. This will take counselling and a lot of work on your part but it is very doable. Go back to your doctors and insist you need therapy as you can't deal with these issues alone. Good luck. x

[raven1974 in reply to hypercat54]

Ty I will try and get them to do that

[Paranoidcherry]

My heart goes out to you, I went through many years of neglect and abuse also. I know how it feels to see the world as ultimately bad and untrustworthy. I don’t think we can ever forget or get over these things, I am trying to work on separating my life then and now in my head like drawing a line of hat makes sense because I often feel still lonely scared angry etc. You’re not alone.

With regards to getting help I’ve learned you have to tell them how you are at your worst and then they listen. Problem is people lik us get very good at acting like we’re ok even when we’re not.

If you ever need to talk message me.

[Jomina15]

Hi

I can relate 100% to your life and have tried the following which has eased but not cured my issues.

I tried meditation which really helped.

I faced head on to all my memories and actually the point in which I felt better was when I forgave the persons who caused it and felt sorry for them.

In some ways my past has made me a stronger person as when a problem occurs I just brush it off and get on with things, people who haven’t experienced this may suffer a little or a lot. I do however take failing very hard ie feel worthless but soon pick myself back up in an act of defiance.

Reiki really helped me also.

Remember nobody is perfect and positivity breeds positivity, surrounding your self with good nice people is a must.

Hope this helps in some way.

[Skydreamer42]

You are not obligated to forget your abuse. These people who tell you to forget likely don't understand the weight these memories have. It takes energy to process all the strain it put you through. I would like to say it will get easier, but I can't say for certain. I think you need tools to help you cope (hopefully healthy ones). If you are willing to state the municipality you call home, I would be willing to research local resources on your behalf.

[Hidden]

Narcissistic mothers..what can I say? I totally relate to you. Hopefully you'll get some better answers than this. Is your mother in your past? Try and forget all of those horrible things she's said and done to you. You are "not" what her opinion is. Good luck

[raven1974 in reply to Hidden]

Ty..No she’s not in my past as she’s still today doing things despite I’ve been away since I was 21 .she even ended up online on Facebook and started sending nasty messages but I did block her it’s about the only thing that can stop her ..then one night some how she called our house phone yet my wife’s had the same number even before I met her so I don’t even know how she got it it’s not in the book.i was told by my sister she said she was under a social Worker and she gave her it. but I have no proof I think they did myself .so that kind of triggered my anxiety again and I sat thinking what’s she going to do next.the comments are great above but to forgive her would be like saying kick me it’s ok to.i even asked the police when someone is free can’t you just go and warn her to leave me and they said no.a warning could stop her as she thinks she’s allowed to do it.its surprising how drink can destroy a child’s life and social life to.im going to see if I can try the doctors again and tell them I need someone to talk to not a phone call or in a group of people I need someone I can feel I trust.

[Dessertmouse58]

Therapy can help, but you just did something for your self, and this is a beginning to your road to healing, that was taking a step, to this group of individuals who can give you guidance. That’s huge and positive. My past was mostly about suffering from being homeless due to my dad’s accident. But fortunately my family was a positive and loving foundation for me. I’m a mother and have children who are self independent and , now thank god successful. I feel for you and I can only, imagine you feel sad depressed and pain. It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask to be mistreated. You were a child being raised by a clueless adult who behaved badly. Had you been able to tell them to cut II out and that they get their act tiogethet to raise you with quality behavior towards you, by them. You would have. Instead they were unfit to raise any child’. So the best answer to all that you have gone through is seek a professional, and good therapist. Also maybe years down the road if possible try and forgive the lousy way they raised you., although that’s not easy. They knew right from wrong and they didn’t care. But they were incapable of seeing the harm they did to you. Keep working on healing yourself and write letters to them. About things that happened. If you are able.. but only have them read it with the help of a therapist. Good luck. You did deserve better than what was given to you. You were a great little boy. You unfortunately had adults. That were unfit to be parents. No disrespect to you or them, They did not have the knowledge to understand what parenting requires? God bless.

[raven1974 in reply to Dessertmouse58]

Thank you ive never seen my dad he left when I was only a few months old so I was always stuck with my mom.nobody can disrespect

My mother she’s already don’t that by upsetting everyone who was around her.thank you all for making me feel welcome to this group means a lot.