Sad, sad, sad.

[bagpuss105]

No family (all passed)...relatives live 150 miles away and don't bother with contact....no friends, live alone, no hope, (feel 'old' in mid-60s) tried all therapies ...CBT FIVE times - which has not helped at ALL ...on diazepam and prozac for decades, really, really really wish had courage to DO something positive..but..without 'people' in your life to meet, chat to, give you any 'goals'......ANYbody....where do you start....? Feel completely worthless. And when DO try to 'chat' to people at say, bus stops...am ignored.

[Hidden]

You may make friends on here and be able to meet up.

I’m hugging you now😊

[bagpuss105 in reply to Hidden]

Thank You so much.

[bagpuss105]

Hi...thank you for your reply...I have tried several 'meet up' groups and the problem is...as the people in them already know each other, the group is already 'formed'...and as a 'newbie' it is often hard to 'break into' a group where all the members already know each other and have formed 'bonds'. I have no particular religion, so really, a religious-type group woud not really be appropriate....but I'm grateful for your thoughts and suggestions.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello bagpuss105, I think you have made the first start in trying to reach out to people and make friends, in joining this very supportive forum. I am so pleased to read all your replies and very helpful advice . I know it is not that easy to make new friends and I wonder are there any support groups in your area that you could do a google search, and then perhaps try and meet up. Although you say you are not religious, many churches of all denominations do 'coffee mornings' and perhaps this could be a way of meeting people and finding other activities in your area. Also your local library may have some information on groups. Try not to feel intimidated by thinking that all groups have already made friends with each other, it can be possible to join in with a group and find common interests. I also like the idea you have been given of doing some volunteering, perhaps in any of your local charity shops. Also have a look at Age UK website,

ageuk.org/uk/information-ad... Telephone........[phone]

NHS websites....nhs.uk/Livewell/fitness........

NHS websites.....nhs.uk/LiveWell/men60-plus

Keep posting on here and let us know how you are getting on. Feeling lonely and isolated must be so hard for you, and I really hope that you can find a group that you can join and start having some fun and outings. ......take care of yourself and wishing you all the very best....

[bagpuss105 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you so much for your response...I am so isolated here...live in a flat with my 'flat cat' without whom I'd be lost....the neighbours don't even talk to me...even when I am putting rubbish out in the communal bins (I have a first floor flat) I say 'Good morning...' or whatever.. to them... IF I see them....but they walk past as if I am Mr Invisible...does NOTHING for your self confidence...also went on my own for a pub lunch...lager and a sandwich (!) - and said something casually to someone sitting nearby - and they competely ignored me too. Feels like you have the plague and destroys what little - if any - confidence you have,. There is NO sense of community around here at all...just bleakness....and solitude. And of course...Christmas and New Year is a really shocking time completely on your own. It's good to know I can maybe get SOME support here...as feel I have tried so many things...have had FIVE sessions of CBT which were absolutely hopeless and didn't address my issues at all..! I have carried out some some charity work in the past....but the 'need' locally is for someone with transport and I am a 'bus' person. Also used to walk dogs for disabled people, or for those with dementia...but...again, sadly, the people whose dogs I walked passed away, or had to be put somewhere 'safe' by their relatives. Thank you again for your kind thoughts.

[bagpuss105 in reply to bagpuss105]

Oh...I also tried a 'singles club'...but in my age range - meeting in a restaurant which I thought would be less formal than a 'group session'....went there and phoned the organiser to make sure she would be there to intoduce me....she arrived late...so sat at the end of the table. Nobody talked to me...so after two or three 'starters' (it was a Greek place where there are numerous courses..) plucked up the courage to say someting 'casual' to a couple of ladies sitting opposite...one of them 'snapped' back at me 'Excuse me..do you mind? We're trying to 'catch up'

here...we haven't seen each other for a month'. Excuse ME. Got my bill...and left.

[MAS_Nurse]

Thank you very much bagpuss for your reply and I really do feel for you, especially with Christmas approaching. There may be some hostels near you where you can go for a meal during the day, you just pay a very small amount and at least you may not feel so lonely and isolated if you get out. Keep trying to find some interests and hobbies that would help to cheer yourself up. As you have done some dog walking in the past, there may be a 'new'set of dogs even a bus ride from you that need a companion too and a walk in the park. Perhaps you could do a google search for that. There are other types of counselling besides CBT, so you could ask your doctor to be referred to a therapist who could help you explore your issues in more detail, this may help you too.........all the very best to you.........

[bagpuss105]

Thank you...!!!

[Hidden]

I think if people ignore you at bus stops it’s them with the problem not you😂 Don’t take it to heart

[bagpuss105]

Yes...I've been told that...thank you...it doesn't stop the 'hurt' you feel though....you TRY to be pleasant and good willed to people...and it's horrible to feel ignored.

[Jenni-Lee]

My thoughts are with you. I have family but feel isolated still as they are so different to me. its hard hey. loneliness sux

[bagpuss105]

You are SOOOOOOOO right...!

[Charmerbluegirl]

Well guess what heck em who don't wanna be your friend. You've got us well I should say you got me my bad lol. So sorry for your lost of everyone. You've reached a milestone in life be happy do things you enjoy. An pay a deaf ear to negative words. You are beautifully and wonderfully made by God. Keep your head lifted high and stay strong. An just remember you can do anything you put your mind to. Stay blessed

[Satsuma]

I hear you bagpuss105 Have you thought about joining a night class or a day class even ? Doing that will get you back out there meeting like minded people

[Winniepooh1976]

Try your doctors surgery for ideas they usually have info on local groups etc. Have you tried help the aged they have info and can signpost you. Also try your local council they may have things to offer. Please don't be too downhearted with people some are just ignorant. Do you have a libary you could go to? Good luck I hope something comes along for you to take part in.

[Whatsthepoint]

Hey! I’m not in your age range but please feel free to message me anytime! I can be a “pen-pal” if you like. To be honest my life’s not that exciting but I have a good set of ears and I can ramble for days about nothing if need be!

[aylah]

Hi, I can understand you very well. I haven't tried therapy just alcohol. I'm alone as well just have my parents but they are far and I don't have many friends. I wish I could have some advice for you but i have nothing. This reply feels useless now but I just wanted you to know you're not alone.

Lots of hugs.

[bagpuss105 in reply to aylah]

Thank you so much for your thoughts....a positive feeling towards another human being is never 'useless'....so hang on in there....and take every day at a time...that's the way we get 'em..! x