It was 2 years ago today when my mom passed, with me at her bedside. I didn't think I'd make it much past one year, but I was determined to do that, to honour her memory and see if things were really going to be as bad as I always thought they would be. Well they were. I can honestly say my worst day before she died was better than the best day I've had since then, and I really can't see things improving. I'm just too different to other people, and I fear that the isolation and repetitiveness of my life, coupled with a complete loss of purpose, is going to get the better of me this year. I wonder, can you live with misery for the whole of your life, or is it inevitable that one day you will wake up and decide that enough is enough? I hear about people who have good careers, family, friends, a past to be proud of and a future worth living for, ending it all - so heaven only knows how I'm going to hang on until time itself ends my suffering.