Mental Health Support
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Need a new way of dealing with trauma

Hi all

I need a new way to deal with trauma and stressful life events. My way is to just get on with it, ride it out by throwing myself at the problem running on adrenaline until it's over, then try and get back to a normal life as quickly as possible afterwards. This isn't working, and the 'trauma' seems to stay in my head, slowly building up until it's too late and I find myself unwell. For example:

2002 - moved out of parents home to a new city, new life - exciting but scary. 2003/2004 became severely depressed and required counselling

2006 - mum became ill and she needed multiple operations. Later 2006/2007 extreme exhaustion, depression

2008 - relationship breakdown. 2008/2009, became disassociated with mild substance and alcohol abuse

2015 - bought a house and had work stresses. 2015 to now, extreme exhaustion, depression (needing anti-depressants)

These are not unusual things most people have to deal with in their lives, so why can't I? I need a way to deal with these things as and when they happen, rather than bottling them up and 'just getting on with it' only for it to reach boiling point in my head. I'm now seeing a therapist for the second time in my life, which is helping, but I don't want to have to see a therapist every time life is a little bit difficult.

Any advice gratefully received.

Thanks in advance


3 Replies

Hi, emotional pain leads to physical pain too if we don't deal with it. I would get myself a councilor/ therapist to talk too. If you know that stress causes you major problems start dealing with it before it gets to that point. Talking to people is a great release and we all need that. Sometimes you really have to put yourself first. I also practice meditation which I came upon by accident!! It has saved my sanity believe me. I've been to some very dark places through my life experiences.

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Hi Steve, I am so sorry you are having a rough time. It sounds to me like you are a survivor and should be proud of where you are now! You got through all of those hardships.

Have you tried acupuncture or any other alternative therapies?


Know how you must be feeling. No consolation though is it ? We all face our problems or should I say demons in different ways. I don't know how old you are Steve but I am 80 and believe you me ,my dear, life deals us all blows and after a while we just pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down, swear a bit perhaps and stagger on. I have always found that just getting out and about ,anything to get out of the depressing indoor atmosphere ,helps enormously. You are you! Nobody else like you in the world . Go for a run if you can find the energy and tire yourself out and sleep round the clock if you need. Don't be so hard on yourself! Can you bear to sit and watch some comedy programmes on TV or tapes ? Anything to relax ! I sometimes find that shutting myself in the loo or somewhere and taking aloud to myself relieves some stress, barmy though it may seem! You have done well, bought a house etc etc ? More than some poor blighters will ever be able to do ! Pat yourself on the back ! You can read, write, dress yourself, see, feel , smell ? Count your blessings love. Exhaustion knocks hell out of us so just spoil yourself for a few days. It is we ourselves ,the ones who are tormenting us from inside that we need to chuck out and get going once again free of guilt. Look in the mirror - and SMILE at the man who is staring back at you. We are here to listen so let it all out if you need. God bless.

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