He treats me like rubbish

[rose77]

Hi where do I start, I am aching so much, crying feeling like rubbish ashamed of myself, used and still cant walk away while being used like never have in my life and I am no spring chicken wasnt looking for anyone and then he comes along the perfect man i thought and all i have had is, him taking from me, I know I am being used so why am i feeling so bad and cant walk away, Looking to move away but is that going to solve it or am i just running,

[Olderal]

This sounds an unhealthy relationship for you. Walk away now. That will be painful as ending any relationship ,even the abusive ones, always are. However you will eventually have to do this and the sooner you brace yourself and do it the less painful it will be and the sooner you'll be over it. I don't want to sound sexist but women seem particularly prone to suffering abusive relationships although it does happen with men.

Its a free country , walk away now. You're not running ,just taking a sensible next step in your life. These relationships just get worse and worse for the giver.

Olderal

[rose77 in reply to Olderal]

You are right and thank you for taking the time to reply, my daughter tells me i do to much, but i like to help and sadly some, take advantage, daft thing is I am a trained professional and I am supposed to be able to deal with emotion, not doing a very good job of my own, but i really appreciate your words of support,

[salfnd in reply to Olderal]

Ask yourself Why you are in this relationship? What are You actually getting from it Emotionally? Is it what you need? If they answer is No then i think you know what you need to do. It isnt healthy for anyone to stay in a unhealthy relationship, its not gor Mentally or Physcially and thats why your hurting in your body,its your bodys way of saying its had enough. You need to find the strength to walk away and make a better life for yourself because you deserve it. So lets make a plan. If your leaving him, you need somewhere to go where its safe, you will need some money, and the best time to leave is when he is at work if your scared of him, that way he wont know you have gone. Make sure you cover your tracks so he cant find you . I wish you all the luck in the world an all the happiness to, #StayStrong #StayPositive

[rose77 in reply to salfnd]

I have walked away. yes been afraid for so long moving away so he wont find or hurt me ever again and its such a relief, thankyou

[sweetiepye]

Don't walk, run. Save yourself

[rose77 in reply to sweetiepye]

Thankyou so right

[grace111]

You must try and move away from him as allowing yourself to get used like this is what is making you so unhappy and causing you to feel ashamed of yourself, somewhere inside you know this is not how it should be. if you move away you will be removing yourself from the misery that your in and will continue to be in if you stay with this man. When you take that step and move away you will be doing it because you know that you deserve more and that will build up your self esteem. You can try and get some confidence building courses, there are many online ones that are free to do and start telling yourself that you deserve the very best. all my good wishes. love grace xoxoxo

[rose77 in reply to grace111]

Thankyou for you kind words I have found comfort in them today I have taken the first step and not going back, ever, this is my life and i dont deserve to be hurt like this and treated like a door mat xxxx

[grace111 in reply to rose77]

i am really pleased to hear that you have left rose77 that is the best thing you could have done. its not easy to leave but its harder to stay and be abused. i understand that you love cooking and looking after someone im the same i'v got a cat. not that i cook for him but i take good care of him as my heallth is not 100% he is more than enough for me. im sure you will meet someone else. many of us make all those mistakes and we learn from them, life is like a school, dont be afraid. you have self respect. That is a great stand point to start of any relation ship with. im wishing you well. keep coming on the the forum and meeting people. love grace xoxoxo

[Hidden]

am not a young cockral and have learnt the hard way and i dont take been used anymore.

is it the fear of been on your own or is it you keep on thinking that it will get better. whatever it is , he or she is not going to change.

if you dont move on with your life today.. you will for sure tomorrow or the next day. why dont you surprise him today.

[rose77 in reply to Hidden]

I have taken that step it has taken me ages just to write a post and look for help and I am so grateful to you and others that have shown you understand what it feels like and confirmed what I already knew i had to do, walk away, just afraid of being on my own i love looking after someone, my family is grown now and still look after them but it was just nice to have someone else someone i thought loved me.

[guillerminadi6]

Walking away is not the solution unless, you are ready to not coming back. I will look at some type of personal therapy to help you find the strength and support, you need,to be on your way to a better life, and to have healthier relationships in your future. Is not easy to leave, I believe that, been there done that. I recommend to read " Coodependence" It really help me to take responsibility with my life. People will say, just leave him, but it takes more then an advise, it takes personal courage. Be strong and don't give up on yourself. God is good.

[rose77 in reply to guillerminadi6]

I have walked away, i have spent along time thinking about it and i have stood my ground many times wanting to carry on and have but when verbal abuse name calling other women and threats towards my children come in that is not right i have stayed far longer than i ever should have but i have been afraid to go and afraid to write how bad things are, i loved him and wanted no other ever but i cannot carry on anymore its been to many years building up, I agree God is good and my faith in him has kept me stong. i did go to the police and the doctor, more than once there will be no need now I am not going back.