He is leaving me and it's my fault .am so afraid

We been friends for a couple of years and he understands me more , just like my mom do .I have been feeling so anti-social ,there are days when I don't want to talk,walk or do anything , and I promised him I will never shut him down during those days , that I will always let him in, but I couldn't do that ,he has been understanding but I had those episodes for a couple of days and I switched my phone off ,I can't bring myself not receiving his texts or calls so I just put my phone off.After a while I called him and he asked , sorry I couldn't lie.

I told him I just felt like been alone and now he just said he ain't sure we will be okay ...am afraid of living a life without him ,he makes me feel so strong but I know am so weak from inside...am so afraid of been alone , and am so sorry we can't do it ova again ..I always shut down people who are willing to help me and I can't help it, I don't want to be a burden and don't want to be acting like a victim .

I don't know how everyone else here do it ,but I don't know how to let myself be loved and be cared for.

[Anonymous4321]

Hi, faithserah.

I know this feeling very well when you have to refuse to participate in any activity with someone you like just because you don't feel like talking or meeting anyone. It sucks, because the person thinks you don't care, but in reality, you do, just don't feel good.

The reason why you feel guilty is that you told him you would always be there for him, and when he needed you, you weren't there; it makes sense.

You just didn't take into account that it might be too much for you to offer to him to be there whenever he needs you.

It's good you told him the truth, that you didn't feel well and that it was the reason of switching off your phone.

I think he will probably understand you. Just make sure he knows that you enjoy his company but you just need to be alone at times (it's nothing pleasant for you) - just let him know that so he doesn't think you don't care.

[Hidden in reply to Anonymous4321]

Okay ... thanks

[Loveandhope77]

Father Yahweh our king God and heavenly Father loves you,more than you'll ever know

[Loveandhope77 in reply to Loveandhope77]

I care about you as well

[Loveandhope77 in reply to Loveandhope77]

As children of our heavenly Father