Lost

[Flo19]

Hi. I'm currently going through a tricky divorce and I'm now depressed. I've had 2 years of stresscaused by the long illnesses with my in laws which lead to both of them passing away. You would think this would have brought myself and my husband closer together but in fact to broke our marriage. I've suffering heartache with traumatic miscarriages in the past and now I feel like I'm losing everything and I'm alone. I feel lost and don't know how to get back on track. I've been offered antidepressants from the doctors but I havent started taking them. I ne Ed wanted to be dependant on tablets. But just don't know what else to do.

[Hidden]

Hi Flo19 nice to meet you and welcome to the site. Can I take this opportunity to ask you to familiarise yourself with the community guidelines which you will find in the pinned posts on the right. Thank you. x

[WhiteAlice]

Ah, divorce. Went through 2 myself. The second one terrified me, as I was afraid the ex would do everything in his power to destroy me. And he did. My finances were a mess. I couldn't afford to keep the house. I ended up claiming bankruptcy. I did meet another man afterward, whom I fell deeply in love with. I left him 6 days ago. Here I am, a single mom, on my own again. My heart is broken, but I'm certain I'll survive. Today is my birthday. I had lots of wonderful birthday wishes & my best friend took me for dinner & drinks. I'm very grateful for such wonderful friends & family, yet, I still long for, hope for, even prayed for a simple text from the bf. I know better, but it would have been so wonderful. He's ill, though, and full of anger right now. I know exactly how you feel. You lost your partner, your home, your family, your best friend. The life you knew, you expected, were promised, is gone. The path you walked has ended and you don't know which to take now. Flo19, I wish you well on this journey. It will not be easy, please use us as a sounding board. Hang in there. You are not alone.

[Photogeek in reply to WhiteAlice]

Hi Happy Alice I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday,

I hope it's the beginning of a new Year of happiness and health and joy for you.

Hannah

[WhiteAlice in reply to Photogeek]

Thank you, PG!

[Findingme in reply to WhiteAlice]

Happy Birthday white Alice

[WhiteAlice in reply to Findingme]

Thank you, Findingme!

[Lizbett in reply to WhiteAlice]

Happy Birthday Alice!! Here's to a happier future 🍻🍰🌹

[WhiteAlice in reply to Lizbett]

Thank you, Lizbett!

[Lizbett in reply to WhiteAlice]

You're very welcome Alice!

[Flo19 in reply to WhiteAlice]

Thank you for your response. Yes I feel totally scared not knowing where to go. I feel like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder. Although the marriage ended due to my unhappiness I feel I don't desserts to be punished for having the strength to walk away and be on my own. I'm being made to feel like I'm being punished. I'm trying to stay positive and keep busy. But some days I just wan to curl up and do nothing xx

[Sydney51]

O gosh how sorry I am to hear your issues . But honestly and I know lots of people will tell you this life will get better . I like you don't want to be dependent on tablets but like drinking and eating to survive they do help . Thoughts and prays with you .

[Flo19 in reply to Sydney51]

Thank you. I'm started to think it may be the answer. I'm seeing the doctor on Monday as I'm run down and constantly tired. I can't go on feeling like this.

[Sydney51 in reply to Flo19]

Hopes and prays with you .seeing the doctor is a massive step forward

[Flo19 in reply to Sydney51]

Thank you. Seeing the doctor has always felt like a failure. Like I'm giving in. Feeling nervous but glad I'm going x

[Rick1on1]

Hi Flo,

Sounds like a tough couple of years!!

Firstly, antidepressants are not addictive. I have been on 2 different types and could stop when I wanted without any withdrawal. It may be wise to take them right now so that you can focus on your life and set it on a path that will lead to happiness.

I had a girlfriend who had a miscarriage quite early in a pregnancy a long time ago. Although still a foetus, I never forget that feeling that I lost something valuable. It is also important to not feel guilty about your miscarriage/s - there is nothing to be done now but forgiving yourself and preparing to give all that stored up love to someone else.

Can you tell us some more about what went wrong in your relationship with your husband?

Rick1on1

[Flo19 in reply to Rick1on1]

I've lost my identity. I'm scared all the time. My confidence is at an all time low. When I look back although he never physically abused me I had regular comments made which knocked my confidenced. Now I'm scared to do anything on my own.

[Flo19]

I wasn't supported through my miscarriages and I wasn't allowed to grieve properly it changed my perception on what I thought I wanted out on my marriage. I became a wife rather than a person. I lived my life his friends and outlook and lost who I was. We became 2 people living in the same house rather than partners. I have lost my confidence in myself which has knocked me doing things and I've started to doubt the things I do and the decisions I make. Which ultimately makes me scared to do things on my own so I'm constantly anxious. I feel like I'm scared to be me and when I finally had the courage to raise the issue. All I've had is why is it always about you. Like I'm being selfish. I'm struggling to realise who i am.

[Flo19]

I feel like I always say the wrong things. I seem to have lost all my ability to react with others x when I say the wrong thing and people take my inability to communication I feel like I've failed again. And it destroys me

[Flo19 in reply to Flo19]

I feel like I've had enough. I've got no one to turn to

[Rick1on1]

Hi Flo,

There are several things you can do to set you on a path to regain your self-confidence and face the world a proud independant woman.

First off is to start taking those meds. You need some immediate and breathing space to start action, so that you do a more of the activities that will you help you to cope with the depression. Here are some that can help:

- Write about your anxieties in a journal. Use as many words as possible to describe what you feel and what you think is the cause. Pretty soon you should be seeing patterns with how you can change your thought process into something more positive.

- Exercise

- Keep hydrated

- Eat fresh food and stay away from sweets. Lots of protein is good especially plant based.

- Volunteer - this will help you to gain a sense of achievement which is invaluable for rebuilding self-esteem.

Hope this helps?

Rick1on1

[Flo19 in reply to Rick1on1]

Thank you