Lost

[Mam5]

Hi. Where do I start.. I feel lost..I'm living with a illness people don't understand..It's took 24yrs to get my illness recognised. I was still trying to hold down jobs and raise 5 children..while batteling depression..18yrs ago I was training to be a manager of a care home then I met someone who changed my life for ever. Im now living with the affects of that relationship. I have no self assteim..depression.. I'm 47 in a body that feels 97..I trust issue's. I want to live again but I don't know how to start

[Sandia]

I feel you pain, I’ve also felt lost so many times. Have you talked to a doctor? Or do have you tried counseling? Sometimes life can seem hopeless, I know how that feels and know that you are not alone. Many people here including myself have or are going through similar things.

[PNIAuthor60]

You have taken a good first step by reaching out and sharing your struggles.

Welcome to this community Mam5, So sorry to hear of the state you are in.

Do you have the support of family/friends? Possibly a church family?

I too suffered with undiagnosed depression while raising my sons. It is hard. But it sounds like you've come through a lot.

Be encouraged, self esteem can be rebuilt with the proper support and counselling. Was your relationship abusive? Seek specific counselling for this and allow yourself to heal from its impact.

I wish you well, seek help for yourself, check out the Pinned Posts for international Crisis Lines, they may have insightful suggestions for you

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Mam5 and welcome to this supportive community. Both of the other members are correct. You are not alone now as you are part of this community and they support and listen to each and every post. What PNI is saying is very important and just shows you how everyone understands and are behind you. They are not judgemental, have excellent ideas on how to help you get through this. You have taken your first step forward, good luck we are all here for you.

MAS Nurse.

[Iluvhorses]

Hi there! I can relate. I started to feel depressed when I was 14, but didn't get diagnosed until 19. I can actually remember a time when I didn't have this illness. I think it's safe to assume that this man was abusive towards you. I was in an abusive relationship while in college and even though it only lasted 3 weeks (don't laugh), it was still too long. I don't know how you can raise 5 children while dealing with depression. Are you a single mom?

[En1234]

Hello Mam5,

Isn't life just rubbish at times eh?...

First of all Congratulations on coming on here and starting to chat. I think that was a very wise move on your part. You will probably see that a lot of us on here have our own problems and some very similar to yours in as much as your depression is described.

You may not see it, but as an outsider looking in, I can only see a brave lady who has tried to work really hard for her 5 children. Getting as far a training to be a Manager for a Care Home was an achievement in itself. Meeting someone who did not live up to your expectations is also rubbish. (Like the other posters, I too am assuming that this was an abusive relationship. Whether it be physically or verbally I don't know and you do not need to disclose this). If this person was not good for you then believe me your life is really better without him. You are only 47 and by today's standards that is still really young. If you were the one who got rid of him then you are to be congratulated on this also!!

The sooner you start telling yourself that you are a worthy person, the sooner you can get some normality into your life. If you are single just now then you are lucky. You have a platform on which to build your life again and make it a happy one for you (and your children). There are lots of strong, independent, single women out there and you too can be like this. (Thats not to say you wont meet someone worthy of you again, but maybe not just now - learn to love yourself first!).

I think a visit to your GP is a good idea. Even if he/she can get you some sessions with a Counsellor where you can have some "talking therapy". Not all GP's like to give out pills. If this does not work then maybe a course of anti-depressants will work in the short-term until you get back on your feet!!

I think you should hold your head up and be proud of what you have achieved so far. I too have made mistakes in as much as I have chosen a "bad egg" for a partner (if this is indeed the case).

Please keep posting and talking and know that you are not on your own!!

Big hugs your way today!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Ehsanbey]

Hi Mam5

How are you? I heard you and I feel sorry for how you feel these days, it is saddening to hear you suffer from a relationship side effects but hey you have to forget it as much as you are capable of. I guess you are tired more than anything so plz go to a travel with your children and try to have some fun and have some fresh air, take care of your physical conditions and try to have a healthy body, seek another therapist or dr. Read more on books or through net, you are so strong I can feel that from here so stay confident and say to yourself that you can be even better.. Start from here, there is always light at the end of the tunnel