new to this site.

[leeleo27]

Hi Guys and girls,

I'm new to this site I heard about this from my uncle who I love dearly and isn't well but he also is on here, i suffer with depression and anxiety due to a number of reasons, I am 29 years old and feel that this is the right thing to do is to be with people even if its online to chat about how i'm feeling and help others in my situation if possible.

When I was 25 I got diagnosed with testicular cancer and had to have them removed, ever since then I've trying to get used to the testosterone replacements and the gel form, ever since the operation i haven't been confident in my self i have low self esteem depressing thoughts and feeling that I'm better off not being here and I'm a burden on people, what makes things a little worse is that I'm gay and never had a relationship, not by choice, but all I long for is someone to have an interest in me and find someone to fall in love with and them to love me too.

I always am the one looking for love but probably in all the wrong places I mean iI got to gay bars and clubs but find it very bitchy and two faced also a little prejudices which is very confusing because they gay community wants to be treated equally but yet when gay people don't understand something gay people are quick to judge just as much as heterosexuals, I feel there's a bit of a contradiction there.

Anyway I'm gonna leave it there for now but feel I've started a little bit about me off but hopefully will be back to say a bit more about me.

Many Thanks for reading and stay safe guys and girls

[Celtic27]

Hi lee im glad to see youve found this group ! I hope youve been given the all clear for cancer your really young tohave it ! Im sorry if this sounds out of order but you really need to start loving your self before you start looking for someone special how can you expect them to get close to you if you dont like yourself ! P.s i have several members of my extended family who are gay and very happy so you will find someone just. Stop looking so hard and you will meet that someone special when you least expect it ! Take care david

[leeleo27 in reply to Celtic27]

Thank you David for your reply, to be very honest with you in a weird way your the second person to say that to me today, my uncle being the 1st maybe it is true i mean i don't really know you and maybe my thinking is all wrong, I just don't know where to start. my confidence has gone but i know its not lost, i just gotta find that spark agian from where ever it has been placed ...

all the best David

[Stinkbug05 in reply to Celtic27]

You arw right David we must love ourselves first☺

[Hidden]

Hi Lee it's good to meet you. You don't say whether you have had a formal diagnosis of depression from a doctor. If not you need to get help. Meds and/or counselling should help you start to feel a bit better about yourself.

Have you tried phoning the gay helpline? They might be able to put you in touch with other organisations where you can meet people without having to take part in the gay social scene. x

[Hidden]

Hello Lee, You have been through a horrible experience and that always leaves one feeling weak and vulnerable , a little unsure. That will gradually pass and you will probably become a stronger person because of it.

Right now you seem to have a lot going for you. You are very articulate , smart, and hot. I'm a straight grandmother,so relax. I do understand about your fears of intimacy , and I was thinking maybe an older more experienced man might be the way to go. Not too old of course and still someone you can relate to and care for. I think you need someone who will appreciate you. Later, when you are more confidante ,if you've moved on, then you can be the alpha male. Remember, you're a survivor

Go on youtube and listen to some Oueen, that always picks me up.Vm.

[leeleo27 in reply to Hidden]

hi my lovely, you didn't half make me smile with your reply, absolutely loved it.. and also i love queen i listen to them frequently theres a song called somebody to love and its my favour song of all time, the words i can relate to hahahah any way thanks for the reply x lee

[Hidden in reply to leeleo27]

I know the song and love it, always sing along if I'm alone. Vm

[Sadepressive]

Stay strong my friend....

[Stilltrying_]

Hello Leo, you've had some excellent replies. I just wanted to chip in about the gay scene thing that you mentioned. It is very true in my opinion too that it can be very bitchy and two faced (being honest it's the men who are like this mainly; the women tend to get into fights over "their woman!!" ) The gay scene is very fickle and it is hard but there are some lovely gay guys out there, maybe try a dating site and state you are non scene.

It does sound like you need to build yourself up first because unfortunately that old adage does hold (You can't love someone else until.....).

Sending hugs your way. I'm gay too and find that life is harder as you are in a minority and the world is heterosexual and that is seen as "normal".

[leeleo27 in reply to Stilltrying_]

yes this response is true i love that you commented back thank you im glad it isn't just me i am on some dating sites im still trying to find myself its a little hard, i will get there tho

[Stinkbug05]

Welcome Lee, glad to have you☺ We are all here for you no prejudices, no judgement. I hope the cancer is clear first and foremost. I do not know why people feel the need to judge other people for we are all not without sin. If people could only see how they act and how their actions affect other's maybe then they wouldn't be so cruel!!! Anyway Lee you have come to the right place. We all care about each other and this site has helped me because i know i am not alone in my fight. There are a lot of people battling depression and anxiety and other things. We all help each other☺ Take care Lee and i wish you well Lynn aka stink bug that is my grandson Make it a great day!!