How to let go? 😟

[Charmerbluegirl]

How do I let go of someone and move on?.Should I even move on, should I talk to other people or not,would it be wrong to move on so fast ?. Well that's the thing I don't know. I feel like I can't forget about this guy whose in a relationship it's like I want him to know how I feel. I think something's wrong with me I can't just forget about him trust me I've tried. I can't let someone else in,it doesn't feel the same I don't know how to trust anymore you know. I miss the person I had so much but he doesn't seem to miss me. I just bundle my feelings inside and get lost at night thinking about everything and I can't sleep. It's really frustrating at times cause I wanna be able to sleep but I just can't. I stay awake lying in bed till late hours until I just drive myself to be extremely tired that my eyes can't even stay open then if I'm finally asleep I find myself up early for no reason an my day goes slow since I barely get enough sleep anyways. What did this person do to me? It's like he's the only person I'm thinking about at times. What did I ever do wrong to deserve this?. I feel so hurt and alone sometimes I'm not even sure how to express my feelings. I don't feel safe talking to people about my problems cause I think they don't wanna hear about my problems so i usually bottle up everything and have nobody to talk too. Cause if i talk to my best friend she'd be like "told you so" and I can't talk to my family cause they don't even know I talk to guys. An my friends have their own problems to worry about they wouldn't care to hear about mine nor would you guys. But I'm sure this person doesn't care anymore since they got a girlfriend but I can't let him in again even the slightest hope of things not working out for him and he comes back I can't let him in he hurt me too much. I'm sure everyone is like I'm overreacting but I've never even spoken to a guy like this before, the way I did with this person. I usually don't let people in but I don't know why I let him in. Everyone told me I can do better than that(I've never thought of it as a relationship just a close friend but many people thought differently) But He just left me without even saying he got a girlfriend. I don't understand why I'm feeling this way I feel like it's too much to endure. I feel like I gave such a big part of my life to him you know the late night conversations did it mean nothing to him? It's like I can't get him out of my head. Even though I do things to take my mind of it, I still find myself remembering him. Like what's wrong with me? Why can't I forget him already he's my past now. Why am I stuck I can't do this I hate the feelings and the way I feel miserable. I should be happy with Christmas right there and all but he ruined that for me since I met him close to Christmas. It's just gonna be a horrible memory of me making the worst mistake of my life. I have regrets of even talking to the person cause my life could have been different if they weren't ever there. Everything is just so wrong right now in my life. My birthday is approaching(sorry to mention my birthday) and usually I'm excited for my birthday but I'm not I just feel sad and down plus Christmas I love Christmas being with church an stuff and I just feel stressed now. I don't ever feel stressed for things like Christmas rehearsals(church Christmas concert practice) I love children so much. Their my joy and now I find stresses in most things. What's wrong with me I feel like I don't even know myself anymore. I feel so lost why can't I get over this? HELP!

[Clarebear86]

I’m not really sure what I can say to help, other than I have read your post and I feel your pain. I’m sure there are many others here who have read and not replied because they don’t know what to say that can make you feel better. Just know that you are strong and you will get through this. It may take some time, I know it probably doesn’t help, as time is my worst enemy at the minute, but you will get through this and you will find someone that is right for you, you’ll see.

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to Clarebear86]

Thank you so much you made me feel better and I do believe I'd find someone better. Hope all is well on your side. God bless

[_siamese_]

Hi.... i have to say i am in a similar predicament, however i was with this person for 29 years, we even have kids together.. He was my night and day, my soulmate. I loved him with all my heart and thought we would be together forever. We ended with a court date, where he was found guilty of assaulting me. He had problems with drink, but i had hoped through time that i could help with this and get him the help he needed. It has been a few years now, and he has moved on, he has no contact now, although has tried, and our children hate him, so there is no contact with them. I however have been left with Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. My soul aches still and i miss him with every fibre of my being. I would never have believed a person could feel pain like this, if i wasn't going through it myself. The last week or so, seemed even worse. I have no friends as it was just us, so haven't had anyone to talk to, my kids don't even want him mentioned. I live alone as the kids are older and have never felt so , lonely, alone or isolated as i am now. I have even been suicidal and if it wasn't for the hurt i would put my kids through, would have did it by now. Yesterday.... i managed to get the courage to call my Dr's and get an appointment for tomorrow, and i have called my regional mental health team and am awaiting an assessment from them. I know what you are going through. I know how very bad it feels and i know how hopeless it seems, but i hope that you will get in touch with your GP and get help, before it gets worse. Even call The Samaritans, explain what is going on and how you feel, and ask there advice for a way forward. Please don't leave it as long as i did to get help.

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to _siamese_]

Oh my I thought I was I'm this alone but turns out I'm not. You are a very courageous person I must say and I will seek help for myself and thank you so much for sharing your story and I hope all turns out well for you. God bless

[_siamese_]

Thank you for your kind word's. I don't feel courageous at all, but i wanted to let you know, you are not alone. I think a lot of people go through situations as this, but like me up until now suffer in silence, which make's everything so much worse. What i can say is i know i want to get better and take my life back. Live a little again, hopefully even love again. I've taken the first step to this as i can no longer take this pain and i have beautiful children worth fighting for and who need a Mother. You are young, with your whole life in front of you, so i hope you get the help you need and somewhere, in the not to distant future, can look back on this, and know just how strong you have been, even reaching out for help.

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to _siamese_]

That's awesome your aiming for better I'm so happy for you wish you all the best and thank you so much for the advise I will try my best.

[LesleyOH]

You are grief stricken as surely as if this person had passed away and that is why you are stuck in this deep despair. Loss is loss and I truly feel for you. I can only suggest that you hop on to Amazon and search out some books on how to cope with grief for a lost relationship. I would also seek out counselling so that you can talk freely about your feelings without judgement. I wish you all the best. xx

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to LesleyOH]

Thank you so much for your response. All the best to you