I'm a 39 year-old man who has been alone all my life, I was sexually abused when I was younger and I have felt alone ever since. I've tried to run away from this all my life, and I still find it very difficult to make a friend. Now, I've been living in Thailand for 8 years alone with no friends and I can't make myself go out to meet new people. Every time I summon the courage to speak to someone, I feel afraid, anxious and uncomfortable. I have made friends in the past, but everyone leaves once I tell them I'm gay. I've tried to speak and explain my situation to my family, but with very little success, therefore I haven't spoken with most of my family for years.