Depression

[Hedi]

Hi friends

there were so much ups and downs in my life but I could tolerate and managed them when I was not depressed so much as now...but lacking self confidence was the major thing that all people knows me about that...and I felt that everything is my fault..I have tried always to attract the satisfaction of all people around me

totally there were some failures and some broken-hearted time for me..and I was so sensitive...I could cry or sometimes i could scream..but gradually my heart became like stone..I could not cry..nothing could make me glad because it was so much different that I expect and i imagine about future and life...I didnt like the way I live ..I was 21 that I was a mother...and now Im 37 ..it is asif I didnt live...just work and work and economical problems because of failures of my husband in his job..these were not serious just a soft depression..since 2 years ago my dad who I madly loved him was diagnosed colorectal cancer grade III..I prepared a room in my apartment for him and every day I went to hospital after work and till morning I cried and imagine about if I can not have him anymore..I've started to search..Ive found the people by same situation..Ive asked them about the pains, their surgery and so on..and some of them died and my stresses and sorrows just increased..I lost so much weights because I forgot to eat..I was so busy with my dad and searching and finding drs. to find someone to promise me he will not leave us soon...chemotherapy and surgery colostomy were disaster..it was like a big shock..after that step by step he was better and could gain weight..he went to his house and suddenly I found myself like a statue with no feelings toward anyone...I forgot that I had a son or a family in those days...I found myself so depressed....full of pains on my body..so weak..I thought about suicide..my son could not accept me..and the house was full of damn silence..it was as if I didn't like myself and anyone..even my son..even my parents..I don't know why...I could never see myself in the mirror because it was like Im so old..and I just thought that I am at risk of cancers so I cannot bear the pains and it should better to say goodbye to life before my son see the processes of my pains...

anyway I went to a psychologist and after beck test and some other test she told me I am suffering by major depression and also dis-timing depression (I dont know the english name but she told me that you also want everything to be perfect) ..she prescribed Asentra pills (serteraline) .. it helped me a little but it was not enough so after 9 months I myself stopped using it because I could not work and concentrate on anything and also I forgot everything,I felt it may damaged my brain and Im going to get Alzheimer and I thought it is because of using pills...

by these situation ,suddenly 2 months ago I had stomachache and pains on joints and itching and ...after many tests Dr. diagnosed that I am suffered by Ceoliac disease and I should be under a strict diet, Gluten free...and then they diagnosed about my son too..imagine that how it is terrible..I dont know what should I do ...

[Hidden]

Hi Hedi you seem to be having an awful time at the moment and I am so sorry. The numb feeling is very common in depression and it's when your mind can't cope with any more and switches off. Sometimes it can be very useful if scary coz it lets us carry on when we have no choice.

Regarding the gluten free thing I have a friend who is Ceoliac and he manages very well. Obviously he has to avoid certain foods but he said there is much more recognition of it nowadays and most supermarkets stock gluten free products. As long as he stays on this he is fine but a couple of times he hasn't then suffers stomach pain again. I don't think it is that serious? It's certainly not with him. As far as I know it's not life threatening.

Setraline might not be the right ad for you though I take it and am fine. It's often a case of trial and error so why don't you go back to your doctors and ask for a different one? Have you asked about counselling too? This might help you by being able to talk to someone neutral. Let the forum know how you get on please. Take care. x

[Hedi in reply to Hidden]

Hi dear coughalot2

Thank you for the reply..I live in IRAN and there is not a specific place or supermarket for gluten free products and the ceoliac society of Iran told us that never rely on the products in Iran which have labels by Gluten free special Arabic ones..so they told me to cook and prepare everything by myself in the kitchen or try to buy the original gluten free products from the passengers who traveling to Europe or U.S...so I should pay lots of time and lots of money for this project..it is not easy to live such these ...I always have used ready food for lunch because Im an employee and now I should prepare everything by myself..and the miserable part is that my son also is IgA positive in blood test and obeying he diet for him is much more difficult because he is a teenager and always wants hanging around out of house,..ceoliac will damage the intestine and if I can not have an strict diet Im at risk of intestine cancer and lymphoma..

Yes it is about 3 months Im going to a counseling every week for one hour and she asked me to write whatever makes me sad during the day..and I start to do this homework but I dont know when and how I will be better...

wish you health and happiness

[Hidden in reply to Hedi]

Oh dear Hedi I don't know what to say. I didn't realise you lived in Iran. The only thing you can do is find out everything about it you can and then you will be able to make your own informed choices.

Surely not every food has gluten in it? Maybe you can find a staple list of items which don't and build your diet around that? It is going to be much more difficult for you though isn't it?

Do they give any benefits in Iran? To help you with the cost. Bev x

[Hedi in reply to Hidden]

thank you dear friend..you know there is a place in city center who claim that its bread are gluten free...and there is a place in downtown that sell some original products which are expensive...and these 2 places are far from my house..there is not in supermarket around..I am sorry when I see that our physician are top and famous in diagnoses and treatments but these such facilities are so weak...but coeliac society of Iran had attempts to accept members and provide some free laboratories for us..but they said we will inform you about that soon... bread was my main food..and now it is omitted ..I should try to buy bread contain rice not barely or wheat..

wish me health