Unsure about everything

[thrillseeker]

I don't know what it is but I cant seem to get any better at this after a massive brain injury that happened when I was 4 years of age I still suffer with anger and stress... How ever my life seems to be taking a turn for the worst I cant and wont talk about my feelings I just let people think am OK and let people get on with it I cant see any good in the relationship I am in I don't talk to the the woman I am seeing why does she bother with me everyone else has given up. After living in this house for 3 years the next door got a peace of my mind how ever he shouldn't have been reeving his motor bike right at my front door I am sick of them and I am not happy with this they seem to get away with things and I am left looking like a right fool because of my anger and aam on 150mg of sertraline for depression and 50mg of amitriptyline for nerve pain think i am loosing the plot and big time.. no matter what i do its not good enough

[WantToChange]

It seems small things are irritating you and making you angry. I realise you know that it's because of thE brain injury you suffered. I know someone similar to you - he can suddenly go into an angry and pushy mood when under stress - he had an accident years ago. This kind of damage can alter your brain's chemicals and can make everything hard to deal with. I can sympathise with that to an extent because I have condition that makes things difficult for me to deal with - not anger but other emotions.

Your other half bothers with you because she loves you, isn't that obvious? She wants to help, whether you are open to that or not. Why can't you see the good in that? You are lucky to have someone who is willing to put up with your temperament. I suggest you start to appreciate her before you take her for granted. Sorry if that seems harsh but sometimes when people are ill they tend to push away the good things in their life - loved ones and anything else that can give them some happiness. I feel you should try to fight those thoughts that there is nothing good in the relationship. You may feel that way but I'm guessing she doens't if she is still around. Think about it...

In terms of your anger, maybe you could look into some anger management techniques or go on a support course or something?

Please try to remember the things you are lucky to have xx

[thrillseeker in reply to WantToChange]

I do try to see the good in what she does for me, I just find that I have heard all the stuff she says all the time and so on I gave up a long time ago just over 3 years ago I would have been married but I had to mess things up and I took it too far and she left me by cheating on me with another guy I try so hard to get the bad feelings in my head out just the bad feelings over do the good and I mess up thanks my name is Ian xx

[Hidden in reply to thrillseeker]

Hi Ian, sorry life is dealing you with such a crappy hand at the moment, but sometimes shit happens to let better things come into your life.

Don’t ever beat yourself up with guilt when you have lost your temper, self punishment can’t do you any good. You can only move forwards to try to learn better coping tools for the next time.

Some years ago I saw red with my neighbors son making such a racket with loud music and blow my top, this for me is very odd as I am someone who never says boo to a goose! Anyway a couple of days later I had been berating myself enough over it and went round to see them, my neighbor was so lovely, she said they had been a little worried about me and wondered if they should come to check if I was ok, they really hadn’t considered that they were disturbing anyone and would never have done it on purpose so were very understanding.

When you feel it’s impossible to talk to anyone, try writing down what you would like to say to the most trustworthy person in the world, imagining them giving the most compassionate replies and kindness back to you.

Take care and lots of hugs,

Moni xxxx

[secondhandrose2]

Hi

It sounds as though you are carrying post-traumatic effects of the brain injury. Although meds may help with your symptoms, talking therapies are more likely to offer a long term solution so you might ask your GP to refer you for an assessment with secondary mental health services who could assess you for a suitable therapy.

Suex

[Suzie40]

How can you know that your life changed after you were four? Kids' personalities adapt and develop all the time. I think you're feeling sorry for yourself a bit if you don't mind me saying. Yes you had a brain injury, but looking at your profile picture it happened a fairly long time ago! I think you need to stop using your injury as an excuse for how you're behaving, and start looking at some cognitive behaviour therapy to help you make sense of the way you feel.

[thrillseeker in reply to Suzie40]

I have tried to get that I have asked and all I get is your ok your fine I don't feel sorry for my self I don't like going out and striking up a conversation is well my mind goes blank I have no idea what to do and been able to remember stuff is a little hard Infact if you know me you would know I do t even like letting people in my home I am scared of ever knock at the door. What about this one when I was growing up I was abusive to everyone my own family friends not been able to handle stress at all I do take people's vues on board I think it's nice to get as many peoples vues because some are judgement