I dont really know where to st...

I dont really know where to start. I am 17 years old and First of all my heads so messed up i dont feel anything anymore.

I feel like no one takes me seriously, as whenever i try and talk to someone or get help everybody laughs it off or tells me to stop being silly.

I cant rememeber the last time i was properly happy, or not thinking about how upset i really am as i have gone through many things but i seem to not react the way i should and i dont know why.

For instance a close family friend who was a star and was there for me for a good number of years in my life died unexpectedly and i didnt seem to 'grieve' atall or feel anything.

The same with finding out about a grandparent having cancer, and also me having pcos which means i will probably never be able to have kids but i dont know why i dont feel effected the way i should because i am devastated but i cant seem to feel it .

I am so sick to death of feeling like crap and feeling low in myself. Nothing i do is ever good enough, everything i touch turns to crap and im slowly loosing it.

I have a boyfriend of 3 and a half years, who makes me the happiest but i just feel numb when im with him and dont feel anything atall although i love him to pieces and he is my world.

i do smoke everyday but because i cant cope and i cant sleep without it.

I dont cry or seem upset but i have tried to do stupid silly things twice, one of them being just last month but no one takes me seriously. I dont know how to explain anything or put anything into words and this isnt even half of it but i dont know where to start. I wish i could explain things sooo much better lol but this is the best i can do by the looks of it.

[Robina23]

Goodmorning i know things are looking really difficult at the moment.

Loosing a close friend is hard but you do need to grieve dint bottle things up.

Speak to your GP

Make sure you dont push away the person you love your boyfriend speak to him tell him how you feel.

Things will get easier. Theres light at the end of the tunnel

Make sure your keeping busy and fo talk about your problems.

Hope things get eadier for you babes.

Am thinkinking of you. ❤❤

[Hidden in reply to Robina23]

Thankyou so much for reading and replying but i dont know how to grieve or speak to my gp about it because the doctors dont have a clue i am trying my hardest thank you so much x

[Robina23 in reply to Hidden]

Hi your welcome please do try and go and see your GP as your GP can refer you to someone who lnows exactely how your feeling and will be able to help you.

Once you start talking about how your feeling it will get easier i promise. A problem shared is a problem halved.

I wish you all the best. ❤❤

[Robina23 in reply to Hidden]

Hi how you feeling today?

Just wanted to wish you a good morning.

Try and stay positive.

❤❤

[Hidden in reply to Robina23]

Thankyou so much! Ive been okay been a bit upset as its mothers day today and i was also working which didnt help but apart from that all good. Thankyou xx

[Robina23 in reply to Hidden]

Try and stay positive things will get easier.

Where do you work ??

As the weather is getting better try going out fir walks i do when am feeling low.

It does me good.

Hope you have a nice day tomorrow. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Robina23]

I work at a supermarket so nothing interesting really.

I find that helps too so am going to start going out more often. Wish you all the best Thankyou i have had a good day today 😊 xx

[Robina23 in reply to Hidden]

Hi thats good to hear you had a good day 😘

Hopefully tomorrow will be good to. Chin up xx

[Robina23 in reply to Hidden]

Hi hun hope you had a good day. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Robina23]

Sorry i didnt get back to you things have been hard. Thankyou xxx

[Robina23 in reply to Hidden]

Hi babes am sorry to hear things have been hard. You have no need to ne sorry for not getting back to me. Kust try and take things slowly i promise it will get easier. Kist try and be positive.

Small baby steps.

Have a nice day.

Am thinking of you take care.

😘

[Hidden]

I'm sorry your feeling he way you are! I really truely hope you get happy again asap I'm sure you will, if you feel no one takes you seriously you have to take yourself seriously for your self and let them know how you feel and that it's making you upset even though you can't seem to explain yourself, and trust me I feel 100% the same like I'm just stupid or something I just keep telling myself these are silly thoughts you will get happy and in some ways people will understand and if not I will keep telling them how I feel in order for them to at least try to. Please don't harm yourself, your human and your feeling are very important. At times I feel like I am numb and don't care but deep down I do, it's just the sadness that makes you feel like you don't and this can change just have to think positive and I know that is repeatedly said but it's true because if you don't change the way you think you will never be happy. And it scares myself to say that but it's true I have my days where I am really unable to think positive but eventually you will have something or maybe someone or anything that is important to you to remind yourself to be positive and that you're loved and cared deeply about and sometimes it's hard to show that for some but it's true the people you love want the best for you and like I said before keep pushing that positive energy and good things will come you can do this you can be happy and up might have to expect that maybe some people won't understand your situation and to know that's okay, we are all different in our own ways and also similar, I hope things become good for you! All the best my friend 💙 I hope this makes sense and I'm terrible at explaining things but I just don't want you to give up on life and that you're important, positive thoughts okay.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou so much for your advice i am really thinking about it. Really appreciated just feel left out and confused about this whole situation and i have for a long time but just thought i needed to take a step somewhere x

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

What concerns me the most about your post is the disassociation you are experiencing.

If you have not spoken to your GP about a referral to mental health professional, please do so as quickly as possible.

To get some clarity about what is happening to you; why not write a letter to your boyfriend. Reread and rewrite it everyday for a few days or a week until you are happy with the content. This may help to crystallize your thoughts and feelings so that you can explain it better when you get to the doctor's. You should also give it to your boyfriend, so that he knows where you are at and can support you appropriately.

What were the 2 silly things you did?

Rick1on1

[Hidden in reply to Rick1on1]

I dont want to seem attention seeking or anything but im so unsure on what to do,my gp probably wont take me seriously either if im honest and the letter is a good idea i think i might do that but my boyfriend isnt very understanding about this sort of stuff. I have overdosed twice and i also used to self harm, i went 2 years without doing it but i havent done that for about3 weeks. Thankyou for taking your time to reply to my message x

[Rick1on1 in reply to Hidden]

Jjh-px,

If you are causing yourself harm that is a huge red flag that something is wrong. If your GP does not see it; then he should no longer be your GP! Get another fast and continue looking for someone who takes you seriously.

In which country do you live?

If your boyfriend is not supportive/understanding; what about your family?

2 overdoses speak for themselves; so I am struggling to understand the apathy you are experiencing from the people in your life. Why are they like that?

Rick1on1

PS: Are you feeling any better yet after reflecting on this post and replies you are getting?

[Hidden in reply to Rick1on1]

I live in the uk. I dont harm myself all the time, its normally just when i feel like i really need to or i feel like i am at a dead end to the point where i cant cope because i am very good at dealing with things but i can only be pushed so far. I am looking to change doctors at some point to hopefully get some answers.

My family would not agree with this, as they have known before and it did not go very well. I do not really live at home, so i do barely get time to speak to my family anyway but i do not stay there due to them and i not getting along very well.

Not alot of people do understand me because i seem fine most of the time, or when ever i do explain my problems i do not sound or look 'sad enough' apparently, and i have been told im very tough and i am strong minded.

I am feeling much better now i have finally spoken and recieved helpful and caring replies it is finally letting me take the steps i need to feel better in myself 🙂

[Rick1on1 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Jj,

I am glad to hear that you are feeling better and I hope that one day you and your family can find some common ground.

I have to stress again that self-harm is at the extreme end of behavior carried out by people with depression and therefore a cry for help. I do hope you get it.

Find the courage to ignore what other people say or think about your situation and how strong they think you are. You are the only person that can really gauge this.

I wish you all the best in your efforts for good mental health.

Rick1on1

[Clem5666]

On the grievance​ side of things go and speak to a vicar or a bishop. You don't need to be a religious person to speak to these guys. I know that it can work from previous experiences but they do have a listening ear so maybe they could help you.

[Hidden in reply to Clem5666]

Really? I didnt know that thankyou x

[Leelaa]

You say nobody takes you seriously , yet do u take yourself seriously ? U need to stop putting all your feelings on hold burying them with in yourself . They will all come out later when anxiety develops from holding it it and burying it .. anxiety is a symptom of depression from biting things that hurt us and don't deal with things ... Cry , scream , do what you need to let it out feel things .. look into it deeply .. .. you will feel better if u do.. I have been threw alot in my life most people would not make it threw and I never grieved until I made myself .. and I am a strong person for it and I am ok now but u need to make yourself so it ....Hope this helps .Feeling something is the greatest you can do for your self it reminds you that you are a live !!;

[AniaW]

Hi. I read your post and thought - I remember feeling the same when I was 17. It Is this lack of direction in life and what you want to achieve, days looking the same, and a lot of it for me was just boredom. I then focused on studying and trying to excel in something and keep myself busy. You are luck to know that you have pcos at the age of 17, so you have time to do something about it. I found out when I was 27 and couldn't conceive. I had to loose weight, eat healthy, avoid any form of sugar (you depression can also be connected to what you east - especially with PCOS - sugar is our worth enemy. we eat it and still feel lifeless, no energy rush what so ever due to Insulin resistance. This is also why you might feel numb, as you have got little strength due to how your body resists to take energy from sugar. Instead it turns it into fat and makes you put on weight. If you have got weight management problems you might seek GP's help , make them test your sugar - you might be developing diabetes and that also has an impact on mood. It may be that if you can't stick to diet the GP will give you some medication like metformin, to lower the sugar level in your blood.

Maybe just focusing on your PCOS will help you with your mood? There are lots of websites and health plans you can follow.

The good news is that it is worth it! I have a very strong PCOS (I lost my hair due to it and have to wear a fake hair) and as much as I couldn't help my hair regrow I managed to conceive and I have got a beautiful baby boy! We are planning baby number 2 now

SO all the best ! And if you have a nice hair then don't take it for granted! Enjoy it everyday! It means your PCOS is not that severe and maybe with a few lifestyle changes you will be able to fully control it.

[Hidden in reply to AniaW]

I didnt know that sugar had anything to do with it? Thankyou!! My doctors have said i have nothing to worry about untill i want to have a kid & im so sorry to hear that my hair is quite thick and long so im really hoping its not too bad congratulations on your family!! Thankyou so much i will look into it x

[AniaW in reply to Hidden]

This is good to know that your PCOS is mild as it shoild stay that way. I suppose the only thing is that if you want to use hotmonal contraception (like pills or implant etc) you may want to make some research if it is advisable with PCOS. GP usually dont make anything of it and just prescribe so make your own research on that. And yes...sugar level in your blood has loads to do with mood so you can research on low GI diets or just put in your Google :"diet for PCOS". Good luck with everything xx

[Hidden in reply to AniaW]

I am on the pill and i have been for 2 years and they dont seem to have a problem with it but i havent taken it for 3 months but they are useless at the moment as one doctor is completely different to another & thankyou i am going to do some research later on and have a look. Thankyou so much xx