Feeling depressed, lonely and nowhere to turn to???

[kevinc53]

I went through severe depression 2 years ago because of stress levels at work and my home life with my partner whom I had with together for 5years.

I went to get help from my gp and I was given antidepressant for 6-8 months, this helped me massively and I also turned to close friends who listened me out and it was so great to hear so many positive response. During this time, my partner didn't understand what was going on and thought I was going crazy and got no support from her. I have since lost my partner and i felt ever so vulnerable and i felt SO lonely and helpless for such a long time. 5 years doesn't seem a like a long time but spending it with someone day in day out for 5 years to not having that someone next to you is different. I have tried moving on but nothing seems to be work and I feel my symptoms are coming back because I feel hopeless and lonely without her. My stress levels are also returning from work as I work in a high pressure job to maintain performance. I have since took a week off to take some off and Iam dreading to go back to work. Please help

[Susieannah]

Hi there Kevin,

I'm sorry you are struggling again. Have you seen your doctor again to see about perhaps getting some antidepressants again? You could also ask for some therapy or counselling to help you work your way through these issues in a safe place.

Are your friends still around to help support you?

I hope you are able to look into some help, better to deal with it sooner rather than letting things get worse *hugs*

[Gambit62]

First, it is quite natural to be scared when you feel as if feelings that you had during the really black days are returning.

Secondly, being with someone for 5 years is a long time and it is quite natural that you are missing your partner. It is quite possible that what you may be going through is actually grief rather than a return of the full blown depression. I'm not trying to belittle what you are feeling in anyway as it is also true that if grief goes on too long then it does become depression.

Any change involves going through 4 phases - denial, anger, acceptance and enthusiasm. Everyone goes through the phases at different a different pace - and it will vary with the event, and it does sound as if you are struggling to get through to acceptance. That isn't a problem - it's part of a natural cycle.

I came across an interesting book - rather academic - called How Sadness Survived: The evolutionary basis of Depression by Paul Keedwell - underlying thesis is that depression may well have a biological function - as something that is about transition from one phase in our life to another and although it is hell at the time - it leads us to question where we are and where we want to be and find solutions that we might otherwise have overlooked.

So, that is back to being in a grieving process - the transition from the relation you had to a life beyond that ... and being sad may just be something you need to go through.

How long is it since you actually separated from your partner? If it has been more than a few months then it would be a good idea to go back to your GP, given your previous susceptibility.

Hope it works out.

[butterflykiss]

Hi Kevin, have you gone back and seen your doctor and explained how your feeling or are you on any medication right now. Having a really stressful job, breaking up after 5yrs and suffering from depression is some thing you have to look at with the help of some one who can talk you threw what your feeling. I do think that we all have our own time to go threw the emotions of a break up and there are quite a few of them. We are all different in how we deal with depression, break ups, stress and anxiety. You may only now be starting to go threw the begining of your emotions as you say that you now miss that feeling of someone being there. It's that feeling that there is something missing and that you feel lonley is totally natural. You no I have just seperated after 14yrs and I have yet to get to the emotional part of someone not being there. Do you have any real close friends that you can talk too or family..I no that at times like this we tend not too talk about it with other's but to me it seems that your ready to open up and start talking...I am a very closed person myself and I have few friend's because or trust issues. I do think you should go see your doctor and have a chat then see how that goes 1st then you can take the next step. These emotions don't just disappeared over a few month's. It may take a lot longer than that but the best thing for you to do is take that 1st step and then one day at a time. You are aloud to putyourself 1st and take time for yourself...I hope this helps Kevin x

[kevinc53]

Hello Butterflykiss

Thank you so much for checking in, this means a lot. I am planning to register at my local GP on Monday then booking an appointment soon. The main thing is that I am not in a state I was 2 years ago and I can only look at the positives. I am spending time with my close friends and going to the gym to keep myself occupied because I feel worse when I am alone. I'm trying not to think but I'm sure as you know it's not always easy to do that. I don't feel suicidal and I hope I don't feel like ever again. I stopped taking my pills after 6months and I believe I should have went to my gp for some more. Thank you again, I hope you are coping well.

[butterflykiss]

Hi Kevin

Just wanting to say hope that you get registered today and that you get an appointment asap...

Im still locked in my bedroom hahah..Still very confused with what he is doing but then maybe it is me over thinking. I used to go to the gym and walk for hours but now i cant even leave my own home unless its in a car.

Now that sounds so sad yet it doesn't bother me. Is that strange???

I am so happy that your out and about with friends and that those suicidal thoughts have stopped and yes you should have gone back to your doctor but that was then this is now..

Will be waiting to hear how thing went

Have a great Monday.

Butterflykiss x

[kevinc53]

Hi butterflykiss, I went to my local gp Monday to register and I have my health check on the 12th. Thank you for pushing me because otherwise I wouldn't have went.

Ahh it's not strange at all, everyone deals with depression in other ways. I just hope you find some sort of happiness in whatever your doing, it's not all doom and gloom even though that what it feels like. With me it's the little things that cheers me up wether that's just talking to friends or just taking a walk. Take each day as it comes. I've started writing a journal a daily basis and just writing down how I feel each day. This is helping me through the bad days. Thank you again for your continued support

Take care x