When is too much, well, too much?

[Tomorrowcantwait]

I start this with an outline of me, my life, and my perception of my thoughts and my head, then ultimately a hope for some clarity. May be even give someone else a feeling of its not just me..

Im in my early 30s, I have a beautiful wife inside and out, an amazing first daughter, a job I enjoy and a roof over our head. We have no immediate worry financially and a warm hearted family minutes from our door.

I write this and believe and feel faith in every point I mention being happy positive and very fortunate, yet I'm here, and I'm filled with concern and reservation just writing this anonymous post.

I dont classify myself as unhappy, hell I think I laugh at loud every day at one point or another. Unfortunately though I hold peoples opinions of me very highly, I will autonomously worst case every situation that arises, I am a little immature minded from a life and work point of view and I am socially introverted as far as I can brief a room full of people freestyle, but never actively look to socialise.

Now on to the subject in question... theres times when my thoughts absolutely consume me, equally on a daily basis I will seek out a thought that will turn my stomach about something being wrong or missed. I feel like some days I just float through to stay numb without ever intending to. My head can get so saturated multiple instances of background noise can bring me to a physical stop.

I see all these factors as a part of adult life, until I come to look at them 'clinically' at times like this. I feel I should ask is this right? Normal even? But it feels like a generic sentence to say I am a man, I am stronger than this, my partner and family do not need this burden, and i should be strong enough to crack on, roll with punches. But its hard sometimes and generally try to dismiss it as it will pass.

If you're with me this far, thank you, really, but I ask, when does this feeling get too much to crack on through? I do not see myself as unhappy, I don't see myself as a concern, but what I really dont know is when do these feelings relevant opening up to someone? The fear of the potential worry this may cause to loved ones by asking for help, and then the thought of wasting someone's time to reaffirm this is just life, or have them give me time unnecessarily sometimes is easier to just ignore, but how can you tell when you potentially cross that line that takes the lives of so many, and that I would imagine some felt this way at some point.

Any and all words welcome,

stay safe