From premature to rarely climaxing during sex. Psychological factors or no?

[THX1138]

I just had browser crash losing my story. Dammit! So, yeah, as a teen, up till only 2 years ago, I was a premature ejaculator. Embarrassed eternally for it. Besides that, I’m quite small. At best 5 inches. Now 46 I’ve just met my last partner and coming up to 2 years. Ive got a “home” again after my father died 18 months ago after 2 years of dementia in a nursing home. Hell basically. I have to say as important that he was a very fit man his whole life till surgery at 86 left him w/ quick onset dementia. My family home had to be sold and split moneys which was eye opening (too long, but greed took hold and my 2 half sisters - I’ve just wiped from life).

So, presently, pain condition has me on opiates, though not abusing at all. Wished I was healthy enough to not need them. It’s never really helped too much w/ the premature issue but upon occasion did during changes in strengths etc.

Presently, damn. I’ve got a 1 in 10 chance of ejaculation. Tonight it took forever to get hard. Erections aren’t what they were. Never had one time I couldn’t get hard ever before recently. I lay next to my girl trying desperately to cum, I know it’s there, but just can’t reach ‘that’ spot where you know it’s DEFINITELY on. You know. It’s driving her mad. My penis envy issue is bad watching porn to cum. Though I’m small my partners have always been happy, though I’m sure between my fathers passing and some initial issues making sex only climactic for my partner, this issue is becoming psychologically compounded to the point finally it’s mind over matter. It effects her - she thinks it’s her. I keep telling myself (and her) that if she comes five nil, it’s not that bad. I’m wrong though. I’m here. My dad played such an influential role in destroying my self worth while also being hard and abusive, was decent in so many ways. Ww2 digger. Victoria police force 25 years. Hmm. I miss the asshole. Why is this just so difficult. I’ve endured so much illness in my immediate family, I’m sure I’m battle tough, though wear my heart on my sleeve. Anyone? Bueller?

Edit: im on snri antidepressant (pristiq, lyrica, norspan patch, Ativan