Unable to have normal sex - Depressed state

[aditya47]

Hello,

I am 33 yrs and i have not yet been able to perform a normal intercourse.

Condition:

1. Have only one testis (Right one atrophied 17 yrs ago due to torsion)

2. Varicocele Grade 3 and Hydrocele on left normal testicle side

I don't smoke and drink. I do exercise at-least 4 times a week for 30 min or so but tats started only a few months back.

I used to have normal desires and erections with my partner, but due to phimosis i couldn't do the intercourse. Hence i got circumcised, but then had some job issues and personal issues and couldn't focus on this. I always used to masturbate (Not more than usual) and used to have good erections when watching videos or pictures.

I have been trying to fix this, but its now like i am having better erections than before (Medication of modula) but my brain doesn't focus on sex when i want to with my partner. Even if i try, i feel like now i need to fix this and my penis should be hard (I don't feel it deliberately as it suddenly pops up in mind without my control) and i lose interest at the required moment with no confidence.

Even at other times, i feel normal when relaxed and get erections when am with partner, but at the moment when i feel like i need to have normal sex and fix this, then my brain and body dont work together.

I thought i am suffering from porn ED (But i never watched way too much porn).

If i try to restrain from fapping for 5-7 days, i can't diverge it towards my partner, then it urges suddenly and i end up ejaculating (Got afraid that if i don't fap it atleast once a week, sperm stuff loses activity and causes new pain)

Its not like am not having desires at all, am not able to have it with my partner. I do get erections now (Better than before due to medication) but they are not working normal and causing no erections when i want to have sex with my partner deliberately.

Doctor said its due to anxeity and he gave this medicine, but still not really working. Even if i want to try mechanically without sexual thought, am not sure if it works as there is kind of fear or no mapping of brain to sex.

i got my tests with respect to hormones and semen and all tests are normal and even sperm count is good 31million/cc with 3% morphology. Yes the sperm count is reducing year on year but right now my priority is to fix this with normal intercourse atleast.

I had trauma in my childhood due to testicular torsion on right testicle (Atrophy now) and was afraid of it all the while. But since years this is grown into different issue and am feeling like its really psychological.

But am unsure as to how i can overcome it. Please go through my case mentioned above and suggest me as am going into depression unknowingly which i dont want as it will cause worse issues again.

Please suggest and help me as am losing the valuable moments and unable to focus on my career. It just feels helpless when everything is normal in reports, why am i not able to? Please!

[jaglad]

You have a few issues here, but I think you are over worrying. Try and not make intercourse the end goal. Concentrate on the foreplay, let you and your partner enjoy the experience. If full sex happens great, if not enjoy and try again another day.

good luck