Unable to release sperm during intercourse - Men's Health Forum

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Unable to release sperm during intercourse

Khulla profile image

Hi i am 29

When i masturbate i will able to release sperm very easily and enjoy also

But while having sex or intercourse it is very difficult to release sperm

I am going to married next month

Is it any thing to do with regularly masturbating and not having intercourse regularly basis

Pls guys give me some suggestion

8 Replies

This sounds like a psychological thing to me, perhaps some form of performance anxiety. Situation might improve once you become more relaxed.

Khulla profile image
Khulla in reply to russell_f

Thanks russel

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Do everything slowly after marriage

Khulla profile image
Khulla in reply to Hidden

I will try


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Hi Khulla,

Just a couple of thoughts on this. Bear in mind that when you're masturbating, you can stimulate yourself in the way that you really enjoy and, being on your own probably means that you're quite relaxed and able to concentrate solely on your pleasure. Perhaps when you're having sexual intercourse, you are not so relaxed? The stimulation is different, you may be worried about your performance and are simply less able 'to let go' and enjoy the girl you're with. You say it's difficult to climax (release your sperm) during sex; do you mean that you never have, or that it just takes a long time to get to that point?

Without getting too personal, are you and your girlfriend (fiancée) able to talk this through together easily and without embarrassment? It may well help if you can. Tell her what feels good, what you enjoy and maybe she can do more of what pleases you - and dare I say it, she can reciprocate and let you know what she really enjoys.

I feel sure that all will be well after your marriage, but communication is so necessary in all parts of life, and more so in sex just because for so many people it is something they find difficult to be honest about for fear of offending or upsetting their partner

Have a wonderful wedding next month and all good wishes for very many years of happiness together.

Hi compton895

Thank you so much for your suggestion

And i Hope that it will help me out .

But i want to tell you one thing while having sex i i was not able to reach the climax . I mean sometimes i am able to release the sperm ,it is not that pleasurable that it has to be . No climax. I think after mariage when we have regularly intercourse and i will stopdoing masterbating it will change the scenario, right.

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Hidden in reply to Khulla

Hi Khulla,

Thanks for your reply.

I think almost certainly it is a relaxation problem as I and others suggested above. A bit of tension and stress - especially at the start of a sexual relationship - can easily kill your pleasure and orgasms dead. Even erections can magically disappear when you want and need them the most. I'm guessing that at the moment you are masturbating much more often than you are having sex and perhaps you and your fiancée are still quite new to sleeping together and not able to do so that often? Masturbating, as we said before, is great in as much as you can pleasure yourself exactly as you wish, but when you're having sex there's another person in the equation and also you're not quite so in control of your own stimulation. We know what we like and what works for us, but when having sex your partner doesn't necessarily have the same knowledge and needs to be shown and taught these techniques (and of course it's the same in reverse. The girl needs to be able to show her man what she enjoys and feels good to her). That's why openness to communication is so important in sex. You could possibly suggest that you try different positions, if you feel able to. That can work wonders. Another possibility could be if you wear a condom when having sex. That may well reduce your sensitivity and pleasure and make it more difficult to climax.

As you say, once you are married and having regular and frequent intercourse, I reckon you'll find things sort themselves out just fine. Sex is a learning curve, and an enjoyable one too, so relish your lovemaking. Have fun - and don't be afraid or embarrassed to talk to each other about your likes and dislikes.

Best wishes again to you and your fiancée.

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You have a condition called retarded ejaculation

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