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ED problems

I'm 47 years old and lost my wife slightly younger wife 18 months ago to cancer. In the last 6 or 7 years during her illness sex was very infrequent, and I both our libido's dropped, due to lifestyle and illness pressures. I'm now engaging in sexual relations but finding it difficult to maintain erections during intimacy with partners.

Masturbation which was used as a surrogate for many years for sexual relief, is mostly fine still, though sometimes I do find it difficult to maintain an erection to completion.

I've resorted to taking meds (Viagra), by way of insuring myself to be able to maintain erections during intercourse, but even that isn't working 100% of the time.

I've not had 'morning wood' for many years, I actually cant't remember the last time.

I've had hypertension for quite a few years and been on daily meds for this which was Candesartan, which has been increased over the years as my BP was regularly 150/100, now on 32mg.

Last year I was additionally diagnosed with Left Ventricular Hypertrophy, and put on an additional tablet Amlodipine 5mg, and my BP is now around 135. I've taken up fitness seriously in the last few months and lost about 10kg and 4" of my waist. I wasn't obese, but am now much leaner and fitter but the ED issues aren't improving with the lower\more controlled BP and improved general fitness.

Starting to wonder if maybe stress\anxiety or depression may be a contributing factor, or low testosterone.

Trying to build a newer better life for me and my daughter, but this feels like a huge hurdle for me to deal with and issue in any new relationship.

Sorry for ramble

8 Replies

It sounds like you are on the right track, but anxiety/ depression will affect things.

Keep on doing what you are doing. Are you on full dose 100mg viagra?

Maybe get checks for diabetes and testosterone level



I've had bloods done quite recently (a month or so ago), and there wasn't any concerns around diabetes. And yeah I get the full 100mg tabs but split them into smaller 50 (if I'm having any alcohol), or 25s (no alcohol) as I find the side effects of hot flushes & dry sinuses is really bad on full dose tabs. Will probably have a chat to my doc about testosterone tests to see if that is a contributing factor.


You definitely know what your doing, some people just take mick and it's not fun having to go through this lot, I wish you well and your able get things sorted.



If the viagra side effects are troublesome why not try one of the other alternative ed tablets


Dear gfwb01

I'm Nick, an Italian Medical Doctor. I do not practise as a physicien because I'm a researcher and teacher. But I have some knowledge and experience.

I know what means to have my wife diagnoseed with cancer. She underwent two surgical operations for breast cancer, chemo- and radio-therapy. She is now under anto-hormonal therapy and strict control for risk of recurrence. She's still alive. I hope for a long time. But our sexual life has been deeply challanged by her disease. Still now, she is well, but the wounds (physical and psychological) of her disease persist. So I believe absolutely normal that your sexual life went down. Your ED is of course partially depending on your not having yet overcome the loss of your wife.

It is normal that you are masturbating/masturbated during the disease of your wife. Many married men with complete sexual life with their wife masturbate.

You tkae medication for hypertension. These could affect your sexual performance.

Exercise is good, also for your sex.

I think Viagra or similar can help you but you need a good andrologist with whom you have to discuss your emotional and physicl problems. A testosterone dosage (and other hormone dosages too) can be useful. The andrologist will give you advice.

In the meantime, with partial or no erection, you can try "soft penetration". I'll give you some advice in the next message. In the meanwhile, search google for "soft penetration" and "deep penetration positions".




I'm Nick again

you can read my post


Again, I'm Nick

I've added a post with advice about soft penetration ans slow sex, especially for men, but for women as well



Hi there,

I just recently discovered Cialis. For me I found that it cured my ED (rock hard for hours on 20 mg). Everything runs like clockwork, even in youth was not like this. Tried over drugs several times and other things, but zero as a result.

If you are curious, is where I got mine. I hope this can help you.

Cheers !


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