Men's Health Forum

ED with new partner

Hi all...just joined and a tad nervous not something im used too.. i am 52 and have been very sexually active for years, seem more so as i get older.. anyway i have been with my partner now for around 4 weeks and she is an absolute gorgeous gem..the thing is i sometimes get hard in foreplay then just like that its gone, its very frustrating as hasnt happened b4 with a partner unless i have had too much to drink or very tired... we have only had sexual intercourse a couple of times rest has been mainly foreplay because of my issue.. I think/know im putting pressure on myself but its not helping my case...my girlfriend has been great and understanding but that doesnt help me at all...im booked to see doc next week but really hoping its something that will pass..

Im a big guy but its never been a problem, ive actually lost 6kgs since being with her...i do lift heavy weights for someone my age but take no supplements that are illegal..i dont get a lot of sleep never have and am tired a lot...i am on high blood pressure tabs but have been for 15 years..

I have google lots of stuff including cialis viagra etc and things like heart disease stroke come up and scare the crap out of me...

My lady is 45 and well we have basically fallen in love physically and emotionally..am i trying too hard is there a mental issue there i need to work on? any info would be great as this is giving me anxiety big time and like i said its all new to me...another thing is i can go home to my own bed and think about her and masturbate to a orgasm, but lose my hardness almost straight away, is this a issue...

Im not ready for sexual retirement by a long way but realise getting older it does get hard...please any help so muchly appreciated...cheers.

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Do not even consider sexual retirement, we are way too young, I am 53. First off, tablets like viagra can have side effects with people who suffer with blood pressure issues, so definitely see your Doc before trying them. Some natural ingredients may help, such as selenium from walnuts. If you find any natural ingredients that work, let us all know. Different things work for different people. Meanwhile, do not make full sex the aim, keep up with the foreplay, use other methods to excite her, fingers or tongue. Another 'weapon in my armoury' when I cannot maintain my erection is what we call a padded condom. Basically a latex sheath that you roll over your penis, it does not have to be fully hard, this gives support for you and as it is a bit bigger gives a little extra for her ! I bought from an on-line sex shop for about £10, money well spent. Never fails, but remember the lube and take it easy until she is used to it.

Good luck

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Thanks heaps for replying jaglad...i am on high blood pressure tablets have been for 15 years but yeah doc will know best...really hoping its just a mental thing atm...if doc was to give me something to help does that mean im reliant on it all the time or once my mojo and confidence back i could got back to normal?

Like i said i get hard thinking about her at my place just not doing the job at hers...thanks heaps again for ur words, cheers...

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also foreplay is very good, she enjoys it and is able to make me orgasm too most of the time...just that next step is the thing we want to get too...

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To be honest, if I lose my erection at the wrong time I carry on in other ways. Sometimes this leads to me getting hard again sometimes not. But always leaves us contented.

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Nearly forgot. No do not become reliant on tablets. I usually leave them for those special occasions when we are 'expecting' a good night.

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