mid life depression

I am nearly 48 and have started to feel really low. I have a good job, am reasonably fit but my life feels sometimes pointless and mundane.

I am married, my wife has gone off sex and that makes me feel really frustrated because I dont know if it is because of me.

Home life has never been great because my wife has a daughter from her first marriage who doesn't speak to me from one day to the next.

I feel like life is slipping by....

[Andyblackdice]

Hi don't let this slip under the radar visit the drs. Ask for cbt or other therapy to get to the crux of the problem. I let mine slide and life went down the toilet, lost my career, separated from my wife but with the cbt and anti depressants I've started to rebuild. Good luck and good health. This is just now and things will get better. Also try elefriends a forum for people who are struggling.

[DavidS61]

Hi faffman, can you talk to your wife about the way you feel? Talk to her about sex life and daughter. You may find that she feels the same. I have been in a similar situation. Not know direction or feeling my life has no purpose. I reconnect with my wife sending text messages and then arranging to meet in a hotel. Bringing the spark back to life again. You are not alone, some of us have a similar situation. Try talking to her first, as she may feel the same. Sex drive can diminish when we are stressed or anxious so it may help to talk first.

[Girlie32]

I agree. It sounds like some talking is required, maybe with a counsellor. Then identifying some hopes you can both work towards

Having a weekly night out together, etc

Your post is full of the negatives in your home life. How about identifying some positives and building on the things you can do together

[Chocaddiction]

Hi

Hang on in there. At the age of 46 I think I had been suffering from mild depression for years and after moving into a really stressful job, I ended up with a poor work/home life balance which resulted in me developing anxiety and depression. On my third visit to the doctors I ended up with a course of CBT and although I was sceptical at the time it has paid off and a year later I am continuing to adopt the tools I was provided with and feel more positive than I have ever done. See if you can get a referral or refer yourself. I used Trent PTS in the midlands but I'm sure there are similar services countrywide. I wish you all the very best mate, feeling low is horrible but be strong and you'll find you're way through it. Good luck!

[nickItaly]

Dear Fuffman

I know how it is to feel low. I think the other fellows of this site have given you good advice. If possible, talk with your wife about your sensual and sexual life and you may find some solutions. From what you said, it seems to me that you maintained your sexual drive. That's good. It indicates you are not so in bad humour.

A psychiatric specialist could help you, with verbal therapy and/or some drugs. Sometimes drugs are necessary, but it is the specialist who must decide, not you.

Many people go through low periods in their life, much more than you probaly think! And I think that 50 years can be quite a difficult turning point of our lives. We make the balance of our lives and we often see that something has not gone as we had hoped. Add that we men do not experience the trauma of menopause as women do, but aging is anyway acting on ourselves also by diminishing, at different rates in each man, our hormonal sexual equilibrium. So a sort of "andropause" exsists, and we have to tackle it. It can be not so easy.

Best whishes, and if you need talk, let me know.

Nick