Weekend offender for 14 years - Men's Health Forum

Men's Health Forum

34,330 members4,559 posts

Weekend offender for 14 years

Wells90 profile image
27 Replies

Hi there, I’m at that stage in my life where I have got a problem. I have been denial about it for years. I have a very good job. My relationship is very toxic because of booze and I have now lost my family because of it. I drink at home stupidly because I try and substitute for not going the pub and doing cocaine. The drugs I can live without but when I think about the weekend you know what to expect. I don’t want to feel like this again, does anyone have any tips or can point me in the right direction. I’m 31 years old and I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to my family not drowning my sorrows.

Thank you in advance 😞

Written by
Wells90 profile image
Wells90
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
27 Replies
NIMan38 profile image
NIMan38

Hey Mate, not easy! However, well done in taking the first step. You have admitted there is a problem and that is always a step in the right direction. Have you tried AA?

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to NIMan38

All I can think about is quitting drinking but the Friday comes I can’t wait to park my motor up and have a beer. I haven’t tried anything I wouldn’t know where to start. I downloaded an app and it recommended this forum. Would I type it in Google?

NIMan38 profile image
NIMan38 in reply to Wells90

Try this link...alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/#

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to NIMan38

Thank you 🙏 I emailed them hopefully hear back soon.

Tedboyg profile image
Tedboyg

Good luck lad

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to Tedboyg

Thank you 🙏

Good Luck fella, I was much the same at your age drink n drugs all weekend, it’s also very easy to slip back into 😔 I don’t drink or take drugs anymore and feel so much better, Defo AA and even your GP as they can offer referrals too, you’ll get there fella you just gotta want it 👍🏾

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to

Hi there thank you so much. I can’t think of anything worse than the weekend. Im working on staying with a friend this weekend who doesn’t drink or anything so hopefully he can help me this weekend. I never thought I had an issue until they left. Was it hard to completely stop?

in reply to Wells90

Great start mate staying with your mate, very hard to stop, I kept slipping in & out being honest, I had to change my group of mates because we were all the same, I found other things to take my mind off things n go places where no drinking was involved, I’m not a gym goer by any means but I started going to the pool to use up some energy n relaxing in sauna & steam room, I won’t lie it’s a long round, pull in all the support you can get buddy 👍🏾

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to

I think it will be a long hard roller coaster for me aswell. I was thinking about the group of friends because most of mine are not in steady relationships or have kids, so they wouldn’t know what I’ve lost because they haven’t got it. I will have to give anything a go because I have no straws left whatsoever. What would I say to my GP because mine doesn’t do face to face appointments? Thank you for your kind words I will have to keep researching on anything that can. There is also a lot of AA meetings around my local area which there is one every day.

Skertchly profile image
Skertchly in reply to Wells90

Just get rid of the guilt complex and go out and help someone.

First step is asking for help, so your on your way fella, def try n get in an AA meeting, GP zoom/phone call is probably better tbh, tell him/her everything, my GP recommended groups/counsellors on NHS, tricky with your mates but like you say there not on your position, your doing this for you and your family, Well done fella 👍🏾

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to

Thank you buddy. I need to try and fix up asap. My gP surgery give you emergency call backs when you ring in the morning I’ll do it. Thank you once again 🙏

Good for you fella, don’t drop off, keep us updated we’re all here to support each other 👍🏾

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to

Thank for your support, she had blocked me now so I have nothing g to do but work on my issues hopefully she notices change 🙌

welly10 profile image
welly10

Hi Wells admitting is the first step.limit your alcohol.its having something to stop for is a driving force in itself.ie your family if not that your health.hobbies. it is hard as I lived a pretty selfish life till I was 35 but after my daughter was born that was the catalyst for me I was 40 I still go out and live my life but booze isn't my priority now.i wish you hope and strength for the future.

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to welly10

Thank you so much, my children are 5 and 3 I don’t want them to notice I’m not there or not in a fit state so hopefully I will be strong enough to beat my issues. I hope I do get over it this is killing me not seeing them. Thank you for messaging 🙏

PBnative profile image
PBnative

I wandered into AA when I was 26 , ashamed , guilty , depressed , my life a mess . The fellowship helped me stop drinking and drugging but equally as importantly they helped me accept the consequences of my alcoholism and forgive myself . They showed me it’s a disease - not a moral problem . The fellowship has continued to support me for 45 years of a very interesting sober life . I’ve been divorced twice, lost another wife to cancer and faced all kinds of other challenges . All without returning to drinking or losing my serenity ( ie. my positive outlook and love of life . )

There’ s lots of interesting people at AA meetings to hang with on the weekends .I found a wife there and a number of jobs . 😎👍

Take it one day at a time . Don’t drink just for today and find some support . Sending you positive vibes for success .

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to PBnative

Oh wow what a story, you have faced some challenges and stayed on the wagon 👏 . Everyone who is messaging me has faced a lot of hurdle’s. I have lived my life with a lot of pride I don’t to walk in to my local AA and go red faced and embarrassed, I don’t want to feel weak. Always been very denial about the whole situation. I have a couple apps to try help me out. I’m on the way to plucking up the courage to go to a meeting. I am planning on going tomorrow after work. Hope I go it’s Thursday I start to struggle then. I don’t understand why I’m ok Monday to Thursday 🤦‍♂️ Thank you 🙏

PBnative profile image
PBnative

Sorry slow to reply . No need to feel embarrassed or ashamed going into an AA meeting . Everybody else there is alcoholic too and eager to help. One of the AA ideas is “ you have to give it away too keep it .” Sobriety , that is .

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to PBnative

No problem, I’ve managed to stay with someone this weekend and I am doing ok and I’ve made space for Monday to go to a meeting. I’m struggling this morning really bad! Quite snappy body knows it wants a beer and mind knows i want one. I’ll get there 🙏

xsevenx profile image
xsevenx in reply to Wells90

Sending support to you. 👍

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to xsevenx

Thank you so much it’s the first time I’ve woken up on a Saturday without being half cut from last night 🤦‍♂️

Well done buddy, you got this 👍🏾 Get out now, coffee, walk, swim, anything fella 👍🏾

Wells90 profile image
Wells90 in reply to

Hi Matt, I am struggling really bad I’ve eaten loads of food slept been jogging and smoked loads of fags. The feeling goes but once I’ve stopped crave isn’t the word it is unreal. When Monday comes I will be normal as my alarm goes off and work here I come. Thank you for your support 💪

Well done fella, you got this, 1 day down just 1 to go buddy 👍🏾

jimfromcalif profile image
jimfromcalif

Habits reflect a much more serious problem you’re not dealing with. A good option lies in participation in a 12-step program. AA, when run in accordance with official guidelines is an excellent program to consider. The participants have gone down the same road, so their stories can help you get to where healing is. It begins right where you just went in telling us what you did. Congratulations for your courage and action.

You may also like...

14 Years old foreskin fused with head

Hi I am 14 years old will be 15 in a few months I wanted to ask if I need to get checked out by a...

14 days after operation

most probably because of underwear rubbing against the head. My only worry is I was having a little...

I hate being a 22 year old guy who is 5'5

away any chances I would have had of having a girlfriend before senior year of high school- but...

14 days post circumcision

14 pubescent. Cannot pull foreskin back behind head soft or erect.

affect me in my future life? EDIT: After stretching for about a day, I have been able to pull...