I am just getting pummeled

[Raggedy-Ann]

Covid 5th time this year, being unheard and mistreated by medical professionals, Severe kidney infection left untreated, trying to process Anger and Fear, Abandonment. My Pulmonary Dr. thinks I have long Covid so more tests and a specialist. Really . Then my therapist wants to go over my results from a questionaire I did fo a new type of therapy telling me, telling what is going on with me and I told her to stop. I feel fragile and broken. I couldn't hear anymore. She tried to put a positive spin on it and again I told her to stop. We ended the session with the activity that I would go work in my garden. I noticed my roses looked funny so I did some research and it is a fatal disease. I had to dig up the sick ones to stop it from spreading. I love roses so there are a lot. I cried and dug... I will hopefully finish tomorrow. I was doing better but then all of this happened and my depression is getting worse. There's so much more but I can't, I just can't.

[I_LOVE_TACOS]

Yes you can! If you are on medication, I think it needs to be changed up. If you are not on medication, in my opinion, I think you need to be. Make an appointment with a mental health provider who can prescribe the medication you need. Hopefully then, you can deal with what your therapist is trying to tell you. I know it causes pain, but sooner or later, you will need feel that emotion in order to get rid of it. Don’t tuck it away because it will pop up and haunt you.

I have to start with self care. Take a bubble bath. Go get a mani/pedi if you are not tight on money right now. Try a new hair color or hairstyle. Just be good to yourself. It helps a lot.

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to I_LOVE_TACOS]

Thank you. I have been on meds for over 30 years. I did take a bath today.

[I_LOVE_TACOS in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

I have been on meds for over 30 years, too. It’s so frustrating trying to find the right combination that actually works.

Taking a bath is a major accomplishment! I just went through the worst depressive episode in my whole life. I laid on the couch for a month. Took like 3 baths and didn’t have the energy to wash my hair. My hair was so matted that it took 3 days to get it combed out with my sweet mother’s help. During this time, my husband screamed to me “I WANT A DIVORCE! I WANT A DIVORCE!” I moved out because I knew I couldn’t pay for the house. I can’t even hold a job. So, I’m back with my parents-at 50 years old!

Please know you are not alone. There’s a lot of people here that will support you, including me. Just let me know if I can help in any way🙂

[Raggedy-Ann]

I have had a couple of years where I was barely able to get out of bed. If you get a divorce get a lawyer to fight for you if you don't have the energy. I didn't and it was a mistake. I struggle with brushing my hair, bathing, eating... I am barely hanging on to a job delivering food. thank you for the kind response.

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