Im new here

[Kclucky87]

hello, i am new here. i was told about this site from a grief counselor. i have battled with agoraphobia since i was little, i also have a very high anxiety disorder and panic disorder. the past few years from chronic stress i have had a few seizures and i have battled with depression my whole life it seems. Doctors dont seem to help or understand what i go through. My mother was my best friend and i lost her in august. The hospital caused so much harm to her to come back from all the damaged they caused. There are a lot of fears and things going through my head. i figure give this online thing a try. i just want to hide and fade away. i feel so lost and none of this is helping my depression or other health problems.

[Joemama55]

I can feel the pain you have. Terrible about your Mom; life is hard enough, and anyone would need a lot of time to function after that. I try to keep busy at home. I have a treadmill and a good stereo, so this helps. Also a pool - I live in FL. I play Scrabble on my laptop. Anything to avoid those awful negative thoughts that make me shake with fear. Since there's no cure for me, avoiding negativity is the best I can do. I know you have agorophobia, but just getting outside the house any way you can every day helps. Even if you just walk around your property. This website really helps; people respond to what you say, send you e-mails, makes you feel valued and wanted.

[FightingTheDark in reply to Joemama55]

I agree about the website. So far all my interactions here have been very positive with none of the snark that is now such a part of social media.

I am sorry about your Mother. I lost my uncle last year. I retired early to become his caregiver. It's a year next week. Since childhood, he was always in my corner. I looked up to him. I have been a mess ever since and it has gotten worse over the last month. Just know you are not alone.

[Joemama55 in reply to FightingTheDark]

It's so hard to lose someone who was always on your side. You must miss him. I'm always judging myself for every little thing I do or think. Trying to stop it, but it's such a habit. Can you leave your house at all, with agoraphobia?

[FightingTheDark in reply to Joemama55]

I went to the doctor today. They are going to try me on Zoloft. I didn't get much help on Lexapro. I usually just go out for groceries or to the drug store. It's difficult going to a restaurant, and my best friend is 500 miles away, though we do talk often.

[Joemama55 in reply to FightingTheDark]

Hope it works.... I was on Zoloft for years - didn't work- weaning off it was horrible. Not to discourage you, because everyone's different. No drug has ever helped me, except ones for anxiety. It stresses me to go out, but I go.

[Kclucky87 in reply to FightingTheDark]

Thank you I am sorry for your loss to.

[Kclucky87 in reply to Joemama55]

Thank you. I am trying my hardest. Every day is a battle. The only thing helping me hold on is my animals. I have been trying to do online puzzles to distract myself. I wish there was a off button to turn it off all

[Joemama55 in reply to Kclucky87]

I'd love to have an off button as well. did you ever play Scrabble online? You can just play the computer, and don't have to play any other person. I love it, because your mind is totally focused on the game. You can Google to find it, if you like.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Joemama55]

Have you played Connections? It really makes you think that's for sure.

🐬

[FightingTheDark]

Antidepressants are such a crap shoot. Luvox made me horribly anxious. Lexapro was like taking an M&M, it did nothing. I know Antidepressants take at least 2 weeks to a month to kick in. So we'll see what happens...

[FightingTheDark]

Thanks for letting me know. I have only been on it for 2 days, hopefully it will help me to get out of this dark pit.

[russel0]

I’m really sorry to hear about everything you’re going through. It sounds incredibly tough, especially after losing your mom. Please know that you’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s brave of you to reach out. I hope you find some support and understanding here.