Getting Worse Help me Please

I am getting worse. I am really scared and I am just shutting down more. I have no hope. I am still scared to go out. I am paralyzed with fear. My life is falling apart and everyone says I need to make the effort. Something is completely wrong with me and my brain. I am hurting my mother as it's been months i am unable to care for her. I really am in trouble. I went to a 4 week outpatient program and I am feeling worse. My mom keeps crying. My boyfriend and kids are struggling with me and I don't want to live scared to do it. I want to just dissapear. There is no will no motivation at all and I am very very much in turmoil.

[Jbes1973]

Hi Alex. I'm so sorry you're still struggling.

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Remember that you cannot please everyone all the time, it's literally impossible. In order to help your mom, you need to take care of yourself first.

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If you are thinking no one cares, that is simply not true, I CARE A LOT about you and your health & safety.

[75pink]

Hi Alex or Alexa, please hold on to hope. I know there are times when I want to disappear. Like no one understands me (some friends and most family). If you haven't suffered like we do, I think it's hard for them to understand. But that doesn't give anyone the right to minimize what you're going through. Are you on medication? Still in therapy? Therapy took YEARS to help me, the medication helps a lot. Hugs 🫂

[Zhangliqun]

Do you have a diagnosis?

[75pink in reply to Zhangliqun]

I replied to you at the bottom of this thread. My bad! I'm not very good at tech stuff.

And i'm very embarrassed not knowing if this message was for me🤐

[Zhangliqun in reply to 75pink]

It's for the OP but if it applies, you can answer it too.

[Hi838]

Sounds familiar been in that position before and found a good med that help alliviate some of that mental anguish to move on etc Take it one day at a time, hang in there! Are you getting counseling maybe that might help!

[Sunrisetabby]

Alexapal, I am sorry to hear that some people in your life don't think you are making an effort. It is clear from your post that you have really been trying. During the 4 week outpatient program were you able to regularly meet with your psychiatrist and adjust your medications as appropriate? Since the end of the program have you changed or adjusted your medications? As others mentioned above, it is clear that your medications are not working for you and they need to be changed or adjusted. I hope they you are able to meet with your psychiatrist and therapist again soon. I have also found it helpful to meet with a neurologist and if you are concerned about your cognitive function I would highly recommend you try to do so as well. Best wishes.

[DepressedEdge]

I'm exactly where you are now, everybody keeps asking me to do more and make an effort and get a job, but they don't realize how bad my depression is and the only thing that's stopping me from ending things is the guilt I would have for hurting my mother.

[75pink in reply to DepressedEdge]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I think there's a lot of people who understand how you are feeling. Though some people will never understand unless they go through it themselves. Hugs 🫂

[DepressedEdge in reply to 75pink]

Thank you! I think that's why it's important to surround yourself with supportive family members and friends, they really do make a difference in your life!

[Graveg4]

About 8 months ago I was soo scared to walk outside; I would freak out and hit the ground when headlights flashed my way at night. I also began to hear voices, to the point where I thought my roommate was planning on setting me up; to this day I'm not sure if he was or it was auditory hallucinations. I immediately spoke to me doctor and was put on a medication that removed my fears and the voices. I would suggest you speak to a mental health doctor and a therapist.

[75pink]

I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety and my PTSD is in remission. Apparently my depression is in remission too, but I don't believe that. I still experience it from time to time. DBT, therapy and medication have been a Godsend. I still have my lows and think I always will. I also think I've finally learned that I need to live with depression the best that I can. And I need to remember that it comes and goes. Acceptance of this has taken a long time for me. Still a work in progress.

[Husbandlover in reply to 75pink]

Yes, living with depression and treating it regularly is no different than living with diabetes. We need to stay consistent with our treatment plans and when darkness peeks its head out we need to recognize the warning signs and seek help. Congrats with coming to terms with that

[Downinil]

Alex, please contact me. I need to know you are here. I read your post from three days ago.

[EsmeLu]

you sound like me and my depression when it got worse. If you’re not on medication you will need to take something while you heal. A psychiatrist for the meds because they’re the experts and a therapist to help you think differently. It will help you see your thinking now is wrong. It was such a relief when I first got treatment. It takes time but just starting makes you feel like there’s hope because there is. I also have anxiety and panic attacks. Send me a message if you need to talk.