I woke up this morning feeling so furious about the way my childhood family has and still does misrepresent me. Just angry. For so long I felt like I had to constantly try to set the record straight, forever trying to explain myself or the situation. Such a drain on my energy. A friend suggested that I consider that perhaps they are all acting out from their own unhealed places. That got my attention. If they are in their own ways as wounded and hurt inside as I am then they might be acting from places of their own pain, fear, anger and insecurity. And, they might not even realize it. All of us coming from the same family might suggest that I am not the only one suffering. This doesn’t mean that I can accept their treatment of me, but it does suggest to me that I can forgive them and let them go. And I can let go of explaining myself. I have friends and other means of support that I can go to to be heard and understood when I need that. I can also move on with my own life knowing that there is nothing that I can do for them in this regard. That’s their work if or when they might choose to take it up. I am taking up my own work and fully intend to live a better life.
misrepresentation: I woke up this morning... - Heal My PTSD
misrepresentation
Oh my goodness I could have written your post!
For years I was the scapegoat because I didn't toe the line and challenged my mother.
I have tried very hard to do exactly what you've done - to set the record straight. As you say constantly explaining, defending, justifying.
I've realised that my sister who colluded with my mother is equally a victim of abuse as I've been although she never acknowledges anything!
Talking to my therapist before Xmas I said I don't need to win my sisters approval. My husband and other family members know what happened. My sister won't change.
I think it's an important realisation! Well done! I hope this will be a new way forward for you focusing on your own needs.
CarnelianAmber
Sadly, I relate to this story as well.
I don't know how it's possible for anyone to come out of these situations unscathed.
I'm one of eight. . All of my siblings took to self medicating or made life choices that were not wise. Each of them wanted to know why I had such a problem, they couldn't see their own. They made unhealthy choices to attempt healing and mocked me for being different.
You are making the choice that works best for you and you are doing it with an open heart. You are not walking away angry, you are walking away knowing they have their own hurt parts.
❤️🐬
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
my DBT counselor likes to say “things are as they should be”, meaning they act like that because of what they went through. I still had to disown my mom, but I just need to focus on my mental health and since she doesn’t focus on hers, I can’t be around her.
It sounds like you are making some healthy choices for yourself. It's hard to get to that point where you are ready to let things go. Good job!
Thanks, it’s been many years. It feels good.
This is such an important reflection CarnelianAmber.
It doesn't need to be, necessarily, about what we feel we need to control - because it is so out of 'our' control....
but, more, that coming to an understanding that others are in their own healing process, is actually more powerful a way to appreciate dynamics.
And we can apply this to ourselves.... Taking good care of ourselves, to allow us to appreciate the healing processes in our lives; plus recognising that it's ok to put ourselves first sometimes, and/or just appreciate that we can only control our own responses - and no one else's.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
trigger
Living with PTSD
DID is painful
Is it possible to have P.T.S.D. over just one incident?
