I have suffered with ptsd

[helpmeto]

It took me a long time to get recognised as a ptsd suffer because I was doing all the work myself to try and heal. Now my life is free from worry I get moving a lot better and living freer. I get frightened of some places I go imagining what might happen and anxiety sometimes takes over. Memories of people arguing and fights during my marriage have left me living on a knifes edge for many years. Some days are good some days are not.

[GRUMPYA]

I understand what you are saying. I cannot bear to be in a confined space where people are shouting even if they are just being loud and happy. I find loud larger than life characters scary.

i have no fear of violence but i dont like verbal aggression especially at close quarters.

I also find some places scary but don't really know why.

It's all part of ptsd. The mind is a wonderful thing but very complex if it goes wrong. It is possible to make progress, I have, but it's hard work and it's not helped by the lack of understanding out there for this condition

[689908 in reply to GRUMPYA]

I don't know if I have PTSD or not as it was never diagnosed medically only by a counsellor. But GRUMPYA's replies are excellent.

My fear all comes from one month in 2009 where something happened that switched out the light in my life. I haven't felt like it has been switched back on yet so this weight of anxiety hangs on my shoulders all the time. I don't think I am a nice person or worthy of love. I just feel like I am drifting.

The fear can be crippling. The anxiety can be terrible.

But we rally to help each other which is amazing.

[helpmeto in reply to 689908]

My fear comes from a lifetime of abuse and it has crippled me for many years, I am slowly getting better, some days I have it all together, some days I don't. I just go from day to day trying to create a peace within me. Sometimes there are many triggers within my world. Part of me says keep going I can do it, but deep down I feel so tired and don't want to get up and face the day. But I do and many times I am pleased I have. I am a newbie at this so please bear with me.

[helpmeto]

I am very new a newbie at this site so please bear with me. People do not understand what you have been through. They have never walked in your shoes. They just say you should do this or that. They think they are being helpful but not really. Verbal aggression I live with that for 35 years till I walked away from my marriage. Yelling doors slamming holes in walls. Now I just look for the quiet in life. Anyway I can get it. I am slowly getting better at crowds but its hard work. Making headway this year I thought things were getting better till I started getting hip pain and it got so bad now I am on the list for a hip replacement sometime in the next 12 months. Part of my imagined the hip pain will go away it's part of my anxiety, I'm only dreaming, but no luck.Still on the list. I live on my own now with my dog.

[689908 in reply to helpmeto]

It sounds like you ha've come from a very tough situation.

[helpmeto in reply to 689908]

I did and it has taken me a while to get where I am. A lot of hard work and getting rid of vulnerability as well and trusting people